"Wo-man was designed to be the strength behind her man's success in life, but selfishness has caused her to become his woe-man instead!"
Had a weird dream last night. I was watching this armadillo-like being graze in a meadow. It didn't have the armor of an armadillo, but was shaped as one, and moved in the same kind of way. It was minding its own business, sort of in its own lane, just doing what armadillo-like things do--I guess. I noticed it because it had very graceful, yet strong movements, and beautiful, neatly aligned blueish-purple spots that were arranged in these amazing horizontal rows across its body. There were also children playing in this meadow, so there was lots of happy chatter. But as I took notice of the armadillo-thing and became more and more engrossed in it's being, I became oblivious to all of the other goings on. As I watched this thing, I became totally mesmerized by it's busy, yet delicate movements. I was fascinated by its ability to stay in its own lane. It bothered nobody, and nobody bothered it! But as my eyes became captivated, my mind began to register the thing as a skunk! It didn't look at all like a skunk, but somehow I knew it was. So I remained distant. But then something really strange happened. The damn thing turned into a child! A beautiful cherubic child--no, seriously a cherub (imagine Cupid with no arrow). It had no clothes on, but the skin on it was heavenly. It began to play as all of the other children, but still minding it's own business. Though not quite three feet in height, it-she-- stood up, exposing beautiful locks of dark curly hair that fell only to her shoulders. I noticed that her hair and her skin were equally beautiful, nothing like anything on earth. I thought the child was so cute that I wanted to pick her up and hold her, but my mind kept registering SKUNK, so I thought better of it. Taken by her delicate movements, again I became mesmerized. She was chubby like an eighteen month old and her skin became softer and softer as I watched her go about her business and, again, I wanted to pick her up and hold her. But then I noticed this little spout-like protrusion, with a mouth-like opening at the end of her, near the bottom left hand side of her torso (maybe more underneath her left butt cheek, but the butt part of her never registered in my mind). Though I knew the spout was used for her "changeability", I also knew it was for other things, like...we'll just say...elimination! Once again, my mind registered...SKUNK. So I backed up again! Fighting the desire to pick her up and play with her as I did my own children when they were that age, I noticed some discoloration near the back of her right ankle. As I zoomed in, my mind registered FECES! I thought, Oh, sh**! This can't be good! By now, I was ready to duck and cover. I thought the kid was going to blow!!! As I looked for shelter, I realized we were inside a building that looked like a preschool. Suddenly, she began moving swiftly toward the door. She knew she had to go, but knew not to "go" where there were other children. She made it outside and I watched as she dropped her load a few short feet from the door. I won't go into too much detail, but there was something about the consistency of it that made it stand out in my mind. It was as if it was more mucous than feces, but I didn't have time to investigate. As my mind once again began to register...go ahead...say it with me...SKUNK...I knew I had to get the hell up out of there! Skunk/sh**/mucous? Not even in a dream would I want to know what that smelled like! I have NEVER been THAT curious about ANYTHING! So I woke up.
The dream was a warning to me about the females around me. There are several who want to be close friends of mine, so they present themselves as kind and gentle spirits, but they're not. If I get taken in by how they present themselves, I won't see what they really are and they will sh** on me! They can't help what they are, and I don't judge them for it, but by the same token, I can't ignore the truth. So here's my question: how many times do we see the warning signs in a situation, but ignore them and get involved with people we know we shouldn't be with in spite of what we know about them? Another question: Is "friendship" ever really worth the cost of it? What about relationship? I know that fairytales have taught us that there is a happily-ever-after, but I just don't know how that could be possible if your here-and-now is so messed up! If I have bad feet, wearing pretty shoes to cover them up will NOT make my problem go away. Seeing a podiatrist, however, might do the trick! If my hygiene is bad, new clothes are not going to help me. However, washing my parts might help me as well as others who have to be close enough to breath in my fumes! Covering funk with new clothes only makes the problem worse, because pretty clothes lead others to assume my hygiene is good. Once they get a whiff of the stench, my business will be spread all over the place with comments like, "Her clothes are nice, but have you ever noticed how she smells?" or "She dresses nicely, but someone ought to talk to her about her hygiene" or "*&%^%^&#$##@ she stank!" And finally...if my life sucks, finding someone to marry is not going to make it better. I could marry the greatest man on earth, but because of my mindset and my messed up ways, the marriage will not succeed. Good doesn't automatically make bad better; personal commitment to grow does. If your life sucks, you need to change the way you think before bringing in anyone else, and if you absolutely must bring in someone...try a counselor or a very, very wise, mature friend who is willing to help you with your clothes on! Here's why...
As a man, you're not designed to make it through life on your own. You need help. Adam and Eve. Enough said. As a woman, you're not supposed to do what Eve did, but if you want your relationship to succeed or to be healthy on any level, you absolutely have to do what Eve was supposed to do: hold your man down (support him mentally, spiritually and emotionally) as he does what he's supposed to do with his life. He's supposed to walk with God EVERYDAY, for in that walk, he's learning what he's needs to know to keep you safe mentally, spiritually, and physically. Remember that God is not who the religious people say He is. They tell themselves whatever they have to tell themselves to get away with all of the foolishness that goes on in today's "church". God is absolute truth, intelligence and integrity, so your man is supposed to be able to walk uprightly and with dignity. If as with Eve, you become possessive of his time away from you, ideas for ways to get him spend more time with you will pop into your head, and you will cause him to die. If a man doesn't grow or mature, as with anything else, he will die young. Maybe not physically, but spiritually, which means he will not be happy, and will therefore be unable to encourage your happiness together. He will not have the energy, the know-how, the desire or the will to be the man he needs to be. That's why couples fight so much. Its because neither of them really how to navigate this thing called life, so they get in each other's way...and on each other's nerves!
But if you do what a woman is created to do (which is NOT nagging, and you'd be surprised at how far silence will go), you will not have time to sit around waiting for him to come home and be your entertainment until he leaves again the next day. Oh, my bad. You're that one who leaves him at home playing video games while you go out, work and gather food? Okay, YOU, I will judge! Stop emasculating that man (cutting off his manhood---making him a punk)! A boy sits home and plays video games while he waits for his mama to come home and cook or bring food! If you make him a boy, or allow him to be a boy, you can't get mad at him for acting like a child! But trust and believe, he will hate you deep down inside for it. When a man is not being a man, nobody knows that better than he does!! If you allow him to get away with it, he will lose all respect for you!! And that goes for you, too, Mom. If you don't require your son to be man, he will look for a woman he can respect. It's the order of life. Man absolutely has to respect woman. If that's not the order in your world, then that's what's wrong with your life!! It's as simple as that. And maybe that started with your parents, but someone has to be willing to break the cycle. Man needs to respect woman. Children need to be able to respect someone older. Imagine yourself a child in a classroom with a weak teacher...enough said.
So stop being the woe of man and become the woman in his life. A woe-man possesses the power to destroy a man, and she will naturally cause him to self-destruct. A woman is the step before becoming a wife--a woman married to truth, intelligence and integrity, a.k.a. God, who should never, ever be confused with the bishop, the pastor, the religion or the church you attend. God, who shows up in your honest, integral, intellectual thoughts--which means you have to think things through instead of behaving in a certain way in order to get to Heaven-- is where she gets the wisdom to be the strength behind her successful man. And a man who findeth a wife findeth a good thing...
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
Love Boils Down To X's and O's
"When concerned about relationship woes, take some time to ascertain whether your union, or your desire for one, is an 'X' or an 'O'."
Last night, someone asked the question, "Do you think it's humanly possible to love unconditionally?" That's an interesting question because the answer is that it is not humanly possible to love at all. That's right. It's not humanly possible to love, for love is a spiritual thing. Let's go deep...
Love is not physical. You can't touch it, nor can it touch you (in the physical sense of the word "touch"). I know, I know. Air is physical. You can't touch air, either. But air can touch you. Therefore, for the wise guys out there, air is not spiritual even though you can no more touch it than you can love. Love is an intangible that happens only in the mind--or deeper than that, the heart. No, not the physical heart, but the deepest section of your mind, which is the heart that's referred to when love is the subject. Think about it. The "heart" of anything is a reference made to the deepest part of that thing, i.e. the "heart" of the matter...anyway...
Love is not something that can be decided upon, controlled, altered or manipulated by humans. It is not possible to fall in love, but it is conceivable to like someone a lot...a whole lot...and because of that, you may end up wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person. But that is not love. What many call "love" is more likely a strong attachment coupled with an unwillingness or lack of desire to let go, than anything else. It's usually caused by loneliness or the fear of being alone. Because of the desperation that most of us feel as a result of being alone or detached from others who make us feel like we matter, we set out in search of anyone who can make the pain of detachment go away.
Love, on the other hand, is more like connection. In this connection, the deepest recesses of the minds of those involved, or the "hearts" of them, are bonded in a way that prevents even them from destroying it. But it's happening is not within the reach or range of human control. For example, you can't go to the club or to church and find someone to fall in love with. You can find someone you'd like to spend time with, or someone who shares your interest and is willing to fill the empty space in your life, but love has nothing to do with that. For that reason, in many unions that end in separation or divorce, one or both parties knew something was terribly wrong before the nuptials, but the thrill of having found someone who was willing to spend the rest of his/her life with them, or the security of that, sent them rushing down the aisle before someone changed his mind. Immediately after the wedding day, someone usually asks him/herself what they got themselves into. "Why did I do this to myself?" Well, the answer to that question is because you didn't want to be alone for the rest of your life. And let me just say right here that it is very possible to be lonelier after marrying someone you really don't love than if you had to live by yourself. That's what happens when your now permanent partner doesn't meet your expectations, or when you find out that you really didn't know anything about marriage because you didn't look past the excitement of having a wedding or having someone to spend the rest of your life with.
So what's the problem with love and relationships? Why isn't it humanly possible to love? When you look at relationship, think of "X's" and "O's". Let's demonstrate. Grab a pencil and a piece of paper. This won't take long. We're just going to draw one "X" and one "O". Are you ready? Here goes.
Most people live their lives hoping that someone interesting will cross their path and be willing to intersect with them. Draw the "X" and watch the paths of both lines cross and intersect. The intersection represents the wedding day; the subsequent lines represent life thereafter. Notice how the lines keep going after the intersection, but never come together. The lines continue away from each other, and in opposite directions. This is exactly what happens in a marriage manipulated or controlled by human behavior. Now slowly draw the "O". You can draw it in the traditional continuous line or draw it one arc at a time. This is what happens when the deep recesses of two minds are drawn together spiritually, and regardless of how you draw it, it's not an "O" until the ends connect. How does that happen in life? By staying out of love's way by allowing it to take it's place in your life. You don't interfere by picking out a mate for yourself that has all of the physical features you like or that you're attracted to, thinking that everything else will fall into place. That is a recipe for disaster, even though it is the human thing to do. Love is a spiritual connection that comes from within. In the phenomenon called love, there is no intersection. Just a combination that begins within and takes a lifetime to complete itself.
Stop looking for the other half of your "X", and allow love to take it's part in creating the "O" from the two single lines called "you" and "him/her". When this happens, love is allowed to take it's place on a level too deep for humans to touch, which allows it to go beyond the human conditions, rules and regulations, stipulations, and the past hurts and pains that influence future unions...
...and then and only then can love unconditional become a part of human life.
Last night, someone asked the question, "Do you think it's humanly possible to love unconditionally?" That's an interesting question because the answer is that it is not humanly possible to love at all. That's right. It's not humanly possible to love, for love is a spiritual thing. Let's go deep...
Love is not physical. You can't touch it, nor can it touch you (in the physical sense of the word "touch"). I know, I know. Air is physical. You can't touch air, either. But air can touch you. Therefore, for the wise guys out there, air is not spiritual even though you can no more touch it than you can love. Love is an intangible that happens only in the mind--or deeper than that, the heart. No, not the physical heart, but the deepest section of your mind, which is the heart that's referred to when love is the subject. Think about it. The "heart" of anything is a reference made to the deepest part of that thing, i.e. the "heart" of the matter...anyway...
Love is not something that can be decided upon, controlled, altered or manipulated by humans. It is not possible to fall in love, but it is conceivable to like someone a lot...a whole lot...and because of that, you may end up wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person. But that is not love. What many call "love" is more likely a strong attachment coupled with an unwillingness or lack of desire to let go, than anything else. It's usually caused by loneliness or the fear of being alone. Because of the desperation that most of us feel as a result of being alone or detached from others who make us feel like we matter, we set out in search of anyone who can make the pain of detachment go away.
Love, on the other hand, is more like connection. In this connection, the deepest recesses of the minds of those involved, or the "hearts" of them, are bonded in a way that prevents even them from destroying it. But it's happening is not within the reach or range of human control. For example, you can't go to the club or to church and find someone to fall in love with. You can find someone you'd like to spend time with, or someone who shares your interest and is willing to fill the empty space in your life, but love has nothing to do with that. For that reason, in many unions that end in separation or divorce, one or both parties knew something was terribly wrong before the nuptials, but the thrill of having found someone who was willing to spend the rest of his/her life with them, or the security of that, sent them rushing down the aisle before someone changed his mind. Immediately after the wedding day, someone usually asks him/herself what they got themselves into. "Why did I do this to myself?" Well, the answer to that question is because you didn't want to be alone for the rest of your life. And let me just say right here that it is very possible to be lonelier after marrying someone you really don't love than if you had to live by yourself. That's what happens when your now permanent partner doesn't meet your expectations, or when you find out that you really didn't know anything about marriage because you didn't look past the excitement of having a wedding or having someone to spend the rest of your life with.
So what's the problem with love and relationships? Why isn't it humanly possible to love? When you look at relationship, think of "X's" and "O's". Let's demonstrate. Grab a pencil and a piece of paper. This won't take long. We're just going to draw one "X" and one "O". Are you ready? Here goes.
Most people live their lives hoping that someone interesting will cross their path and be willing to intersect with them. Draw the "X" and watch the paths of both lines cross and intersect. The intersection represents the wedding day; the subsequent lines represent life thereafter. Notice how the lines keep going after the intersection, but never come together. The lines continue away from each other, and in opposite directions. This is exactly what happens in a marriage manipulated or controlled by human behavior. Now slowly draw the "O". You can draw it in the traditional continuous line or draw it one arc at a time. This is what happens when the deep recesses of two minds are drawn together spiritually, and regardless of how you draw it, it's not an "O" until the ends connect. How does that happen in life? By staying out of love's way by allowing it to take it's place in your life. You don't interfere by picking out a mate for yourself that has all of the physical features you like or that you're attracted to, thinking that everything else will fall into place. That is a recipe for disaster, even though it is the human thing to do. Love is a spiritual connection that comes from within. In the phenomenon called love, there is no intersection. Just a combination that begins within and takes a lifetime to complete itself.
Stop looking for the other half of your "X", and allow love to take it's part in creating the "O" from the two single lines called "you" and "him/her". When this happens, love is allowed to take it's place on a level too deep for humans to touch, which allows it to go beyond the human conditions, rules and regulations, stipulations, and the past hurts and pains that influence future unions...
...and then and only then can love unconditional become a part of human life.
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