"If your negative situation can be changed, 95% of what you're feeling is only an illusion. Therefore, it's mind over matter."
We are living in some really tough times. Most people are really stressed--far too many to the point of hopelessness. Our fellowman is committing murder, suicide and murder/suicide as a way out of situations that have other viable solutions. These situations have obviously not been thought through in the healthiest of ways. If someone has to get hurt or die in your solution, you've NOT thought this through in the best of ways, and you need help. Does this mean you're crazy? Absolutely not. It just means that you need to see another side of your story. It means that you are much too emotional to clearly see all of the options by yourself. It means that you need to talk to someone who can see your situation differently, and offer a different perspective. At one time in our existence, things in our society lined up in ways that most people understood. Because of that, it was easier to get help with a situation that had you concerned, nervous, afraid, or somewhat curious. You could ask a parent or other relative, a friend, a teacher, a church official, etc. But at that time, our society had common sense. Common sense is that stuff that most people agree on, that's what makes it common. Things were that way because we had guidelines in our society that most agreed on and followed with a sense of community. Nowadays, people don't agree on much. Why? Because there is no sense of community. Everyone is pretty much doing his own thing, and feels he has that right--and he does. There's nothing wrong with that except that you kinda don't live on this earth by yourself. If you were on your own island, you could do whatever the hell you wanted without question. But you don't! Therefore, we, as a society, need to get to a place where many of us agree on many things again. We need to establish some common ground. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to live in a free society where people can, not only have their own opinion, but also voice it. The problem is that opinions are like butt holes; everybody has one and nothing comes out of them but sh...I'll be nice...feces. Opinions are what got us into this mess. We need to get back to a place when facts--not opinions--matter, and when those giving us these facts are experts in their fields because they did measurable research. They conducted, documented and published studies. They conducted the studies because these people were global thinkers that hypothesized, then attempted to prove or disprove their theories. The difference between those philosophers and the ones we have now is...simply stated...research. Though the philosophers of old didn't have all the answers, they had proved many. The problem with today's society is that no one seems have any answers that are tried and true. What does any of this have to do with common sense? If the answers aren't tried and true, they are anybody's guess, and that's what opinion's are: somebody's guess. Well, these guesses are happening in far too many places and situations, and the end results tend to be more than our society can handle. It's not just the man with the gun in his hand, it's also the person responsible for hiring and firing in the employment arena. It's moms, dads, teachers, pastors or other clergy, coaches, sales associates, cooks, childcare workers, and worse, doctors, lawyers, therapists, judges, police officers, and members of congress and other politicians. Worst of all, it's our good friends. Why is that worst? Because we trust them and are more likely to listen to them. But these problems don't start with the answers; they start with our questions. Especially the one that we all fail to ask: How do I know that what I'm being told is right? or Why should I ask or listen to this person? Credentials seem to be a thing of the past, expertise right along with it. Here's a piece of advice: before you follow someone, know where that person is taking you, and you know that by where they've been. Don't just blindly follow a person or his advice. Do your own research. Ask, if nothing else, how the person arrived at the conclusion he/she gave to you. Often, when we seek answers from others, it's about a situation he/she is very passionate about. But do yourself the favor and question his/her passion. Is it based on a proven theory, or is this person emotional about something that he's made his personal platform. Secondly, ask yourself why you're seeking this information. Is your search based on truth or an emotional experience? (Hell, for that matter a lie?) Are you seeking answers from this person because you know he will tell you what you want to hear? Are you only hearing what you want to hear when the person speaks? Why did you choose this person to get answers from? Here's the big one: AM I BEING HONEST ABOUT THE QUESTION THAT I'M ASKING, OR AM I JUST LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO AGREE WITH ME SO THAT I CAN FEEL BETTER? In seeking your answer, did you give the true version of the story, or was it the one that makes you look less culpable? Sometimes we have the answers before we ask the question, so we kinda ask one that's a little bit different from the one we have the answer to. Not good; not fair. If you are not honest with yourself, you're going to blow the situation out of proportion as you duck and dodge the truth about your part in it. As you blow it out of your pie hole (that's what it is when you're lying), you're going to seek counsel from some whack job, or...okay, I'll be nice...frustrated friend, coworker or relative who you know to be a fire starter of sorts. That person or group of people will only pour gasoline on the fire you've already ignited. Then guess what? There's going to be an explosion. And a bigger fire. And destruction. And debris everywhere. The fire will spread fast. And destroy everything in it's path. And YOU started it, but you're not going to tell anybody that. So how about we go back to square one? If you have a problem and are in need of answers, go to a trusted resource with all of your facts lined up, and find a viable solution. In doing so, you will see that whatever has you worked up, is really just mind over matter. Say you lost (got fired from) your job, and you need to feed yourself and your family. Take the time to adjust emotionally, then seek answers from viable sources. Don't talk to the family member who lost his job and is still angry about it. Don't talk to the person who thinks you do no wrong. Talk to the one who lost his job and got another one. If you're frustrated because you work hard all day and still can't make ends meet each month, don't talk to others who aren't making ends meet. Talk to someone who is. And do yourself a favor...don't talk to the chain smoker who is struggling to feed his/her family. Cigarettes are quite expensive, and take a large chunk out of any budget, but the smoker is not going to charge any of his difficulty to his habit; it's going to be someone else's fault. Trust and believe. If your spouse is giving you a problem...say it with me...don't get advice from a single person, or one who has been married three or more times! If you're not happy with your life, don't talk to a depressed person about it, nor the person who keeps reinventing himself and can't commit to anything for more than three months. Obviously, he doesn't have anything figured out. And finally, if you're struggling with the quality of your life, don't ask your kids what they think. How the hell should they know? The bottom line: if life is not working for you, take some time to find out what you need to do to improve it, but don't approach the answers when you're feeling down or defeated. Negative energy begets negative energy. Reset yourself. Calm down from your emotional place and deal with what you're going through intelligently. We are all going through something. If not, we just came out of something. Yours is NOT the end of the world...or at least, it shouldn't be.
