"The real difference between successful people and those who are not so successful is that the successful ones are TAUGHT to think positively."
Negative feelings are natural; positive ones are supernatural, so you have to work at them. Negative conversation is natural; positive ones are not, so you have to work at those, too. How do you do that, you ask? It's not as simple as it sounds, but here's a pretty straight forward prescription: in everything you do, and in all that happens to you, find some good it in. Then, when you talk about it to someone else, stay true to how you feel, but mention the positive aspects of it more than the negative. If the person you're talking to goes negative, and insists you do the same, remove yourself from that person's presence. From there, surround yourself with people who are positive. They'll be the ones whose happiness is seen beyond the smile on their faces. You know those. They are the ones that tend to sing or hum songs that are not funeral marches. They are also the ones who compliment others even when the person they are complimenting is not around. They will compliment others to you, i.e. "I like that dress so-and-so is wearing. It looks nice on her." They are also the ones who are not complaining about everything from having to get up in the morning to being angry at the sun for knowing about their plans for the day, and deciding not to shine just to ruin them (you know that type). And one last identifier: they are those who absolutely CANNOT take a compliment. I call them "BUT people". When you compliment them, the conversation goes a little something like this:
"Hey, so-and-so. That's a nice car you have out there."
"Yeah, it's okay, BUT I wanted something different. I like this about it, BUT, I don't like that. I know it's brand new, BUT I really should have bought something different..." or
"You look nice today..."
"Yeah, thanks, BUT I'd look nicer if my hair would have curled the way I wanted it to. I went to get it cut BUT the lady didn't cut it right..." or
"Good morning, So-and-So. How are you today?"
"Blessed and highly favored..." (My bad. Couldn't resist the religiosity humor).
Most of the people you encounter on a daily basis--to INCLUDE family members, coworkers, "friends", lovers, acquaintances, and others--naturally have a negative mindset. That means that the advice you get from them is going to come naturally from a negative place. Most of the time they don't even know they're being negative. They call it "keeping it real." Consequently, the encouragement, love and support you seek from them, which is necessary for real success, is not going to be there because those things are positive. That's why there are so many bad relationships within family circles and between people in general. Most people think positive feelings come naturally for humans. This is so not true! Love, for example, is not a given; it is taught. Contrary to popular belief, mothers don't naturally love their babies, especially if the child was not conceived in love. Before becoming a mother, it's best for the child if the woman already knows how to love. And it works the same way for fathers. There is no guarantee that the parents will grow to love the child. None at all! Anyway, the point is that it takes work to be--and to stay--a positive person.
Success, however, is not based on the positivity of a person. You could be in the right place at the right time and luck up on success. The resulting behavior, on the other hand, depends on what's on the inside of that "lucky" person. Inner feelings are like velcro, and in this case, like charges attract. If your inner feelings are negative, you will attract that which is negative to you (misery loves company). If you think/feel positive, positive things will come your way--even if at first glance it's negative. (That means that sometimes you have to look deeper. Losing a friend, for example, is only bad if the friend was good for you.) Simply stated, when you cross the success of a person with negative inner feelings, the end result will be arrogance, insecurity, conceit, bigotry, judgement, jealousy, covetousness, etc. When success is met with positive inner feelings, the end result is confidence, assurance, fairness, a willingness to help others to succeed/achieve, etc.
As a man thinketh, so is he. You are what you think you are, and what a man tells you he thinks about himself won't always coincide with how he really feels, and if you pay close attention, you'll know the difference! ("Blessed and highly favored"! My bad again!)
Take some time today to pull something positive your way. Make it a practice, then watch how quickly things will change for the better in your life.
No comments:
Post a Comment