"Opinions are like butt holes. Everybody has one and nothing comes out of it but sh**."
DISCLAIMER: This blog is in no way shape or form being used as a means of putting anyone down or supporting any kind of non-integral activity. The writer/writers here have way too much integrity, education and experience to go on prejudicial, emotional rants. You can rest assured that in this blog, there will be foundational principles, not opinions, unless otherwise stated (sometimes I may have to express an opinion or two. No judgement, for I was born with a hole in my butt, too). If you read something here, now or in the future, and feel attacked, ridiculed or put down, don't check us; check yourself! If you feel mocked or criticized after reading this or any other blog on this site or any of its affiliations, it's going to be because of an unresolved issue that you have! That's the guilt or sensitivity of your own issue. But don't fret. It happens to all of us at one time or another. I can remember taking it personally when I would hear men say that all women were gold diggers, or that every one of us had a price tag. But then I heard Tyler Perry's "Madea" say, "It's not what they call you. It's what you answer to." In that moment I realized that just because the man talking had had that experience or formed that opinion of women, it didn't mean he was directing it at me personally, unless he'd had that experience with me. When I realized it wasn't personal, I began to see the truth of what I was so vehemently defending. From the time I was a kid, I was taught by older females the different things I needed to do to attract a man who would take care of me. I was taught to go for the one with the biggest paycheck. I was taught to look for the man who had impressive things to offer--good looks, a nice car, good job, money to spend on me--the one who could afford to buy me nice things and make ME look good. What did I have to offer in return? Good looks, nice body, sex, cooking ability, etc., anything that would attract him to me. (I'm not saying that I personally have all those things; I'm saying that I was taught that those were the things men wanted in return). If I'm selling my goods to the highest bidder, the one with the most money, etc., then what am I doing other than gold digging? I learned very quickly that if I were going to sell myself, I was going to be someone's possession. That meant they could tell me what to do. And I'd have to do it. That sounds like slavery to me, and I wasn't feeling that! Not wanting an owner, I decided to be my own gold mine. I don't know, maybe it's me, but I always thought that would be more fun. Ah... Independence...I just love the feel of it...But back to the point...
If people are buying and selling themselves or each other, that's gold digging. That's what happened in the 1800"s. Some found gold and others bought it. And that's what is happening in the hookup game. These days, relationships are not personal. It's all business, but this isn't new! What happened to the days when couples struggled together to become one strong entity before emerging publicly as the Sphinx who rose from the ashes? What happened to the days when men supported their women and women supported their men...
...my bad. Those days never existed--at least not that this generation or the last has seen. But there have always been couples out there who were that way. And there still are. There are women who fight for their men and men who fight for their women. There are couples who fight for each other. So that's what you should be looking for in a mate. Make it personal. Find a relationship that isn't like everyone else's. Find someone who is truly interested in you; not what you have to offer. If you want your relationship to last forever, seek out someone who is interested in you as a person. That way, WHEN you change, he or she will still be interested. If your mate is only with you for your looks, your money, your fame, your reputation, etc., when any of that changes, so will the interest of your mate.
Side Note: Yea. I know. There are couples who are same gender. No, I didn't leave you out. I was just on a role and didn't feel like taking the time to list all of the politically correct issues. It takes too long. I figured if you'd see the point without all of that. I didn't take the time to point out interracial couples, bestiality, stalking or necrophilia, either, but they exists too. Don't be so sensitive. It ain't personal...
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Metaphysics 101
"Life exists in the mind. If your mind is no good, neither is your life."
WARNING: For the purposes of this blog, think death of the mind, not death of the body.
I watched an incredible story today of an ex-police officer turned animal trainer. After working with people for some time, he found his niche with exotic animals. I was amazed as I watched elephants, zebra, leopards, and lions approach him as though he were one of them. But I've always wondered about the intelligence of animals, especially primates. Apes and gorillas in particular. No, seriously. Disney's Chimpanze changed the way I see life. I worked with people for many years and decided it was time for me to do something else when I began to wonder what had happened to the intelligence of man. I mean people do some really dumb stuff! Anyway...
I watched an incredible story today of an ex-police officer turned animal trainer. After working with people for some time, he found his niche with exotic animals. I was amazed as I watched elephants, zebra, leopards, and lions approach him as though he were one of them. But I've always wondered about the intelligence of animals, especially primates. Apes and gorillas in particular. No, seriously. Disney's Chimpanze changed the way I see life. I worked with people for many years and decided it was time for me to do something else when I began to wonder what had happened to the intelligence of man. I mean people do some really dumb stuff! Anyway...
The animal trainer mentioned above said in the interview that what he liked most about animals was their honesty. I was feeling him until he said they were honest because they weren't intelligent enough to lie. WHAT???? When did intelligence become a criteria for lying? As a matter of fact, it's the total opposite: a liar lies because he's NOT intelligent enough not to. He may be clever, but that doesn't make him intelligent. He may even be intelligent to some degree, but his intelligence is NOT why he lies! It's the unintelligent side (a.k.a. the dark side) of him that lies.
Intelligent beings are honest because they don't feel the need to lie; to them it's stupid to do so. Intelligence means "higher order thinking." Liars are certainly not that, therefore, they don't need intelligence to do what they do. The only thing they need is someone dumb enough to believe them. I know, I know. Dumb seems a little harsh, but the fact of the matter is that in our desire to keep relationships, we tend to go dumb. Actually, we become selfish, and the selfishness is what makes us do and believe dumb stuff. For example, the high profile executive man bamboozled by the bombshell who left him for the pool guy probably realizes that he was dumb for having paid more attention to her boobs than her being. The woman conned out of all her money by the dreamy playboy probably realizes how dumb it was to NOT have paid attention to more of his movements than the ones that he made when they were in her bed. The child (over or under the age of 18) on the other end of the addicted or deadbeat parent's promises should have been slower to believe him/her again after the first few broken ones. But when we desperately or selfishly want a relationship with another person, we tend to make them what we want them to be in order for them to fit perfectly inside the lie we've created for them in our minds and lives--even though it is dumb to do that! It's selfish on our parts because once we've decided who we want them to be, it no longer matters to us who they really are because we've decided what role they are going to play in our fantasy and if they are not that, we can change them. Don't be fooled into believing that your victim won't quickly pick up on your need for them to be who you want them to be. That's why it's so easy for them to lie to us, and so easy for us to believe their lies. In that situation, can we really be mad at them for lying to us? They are only doing to us what we've done to ourselves! It's like playing Follow the Leader. Either we led the lie about who we wanted them to be, and they followed, or they lied to us first and, because we wanted to believe whatever we were telling ourselves and others about them, we followed.
The fact of the matter is that it DOES NOT take intelligence to lie; just a dumb/selfish believer. And it's important to state here that lying and dying go hand in hand. Intelligence is required to live, for life and death exist first in the mind. It takes a lack of intelligence to die or to begin the process of dying. Let's look at how that works. At the end of every lie told and every lie believed is death of some sort. Let me say that again: AT THE END OF EVERY LIE TOLD AND EVERY LIE BELIEVED IS DEATH OF SOME SORT. It may not be a physical death; it may be emotional, mental or spiritual, but a lie is definitely necessary for death, for life is in the mind and the mind cannot die unless a lie is present. Remember the garden of Eden. The serpent had to lie to Eve to get her to eat of the forbidden fruit, which caused man to die or to fall from grace...but that's another story. Or maybe I should say it's another aspect of this equation that we'll get to at a later date, but for now, let's do today's math:
Life is intelligence and exists in the mind. In order to die, one must be lured by and follow a lie, which requires selfishness and/or stupidity. Intelligence will alert you when someone is lying, and will not allow you to follow a liar. Intelligence protects us from the liar's lair where death exists by not allowing us to believe a lie. Therefore, the mind without a lie doesn't die because it's protected from death by intelligence. If you believe the lie that there is no life after the death of the body, it will cause your mind to deteriorate and ultimately you will die. Life truly exists in the mind...
Side note: For animal lovers or haters, there are lower life forms or animals that aren't as intelligent as others. Remember, each animal has been given the right amount of intelligence necessary for him to be the that animal he is. Any more than that would make him a different animal. A dalmatian, for example, doesn't have to hunt food to survive so he doesn't need the intelligence of an eagle. A sheep can trust his shepherd to feed him or to lead him to a pasture to graze safely, so he doesn't have to be as intelligent as the goat who likes to chew on and eat whatever he can. If a sheep did that, he would no longer be a sheep. He'd be a goat!
Intelligent beings are honest because they don't feel the need to lie; to them it's stupid to do so. Intelligence means "higher order thinking." Liars are certainly not that, therefore, they don't need intelligence to do what they do. The only thing they need is someone dumb enough to believe them. I know, I know. Dumb seems a little harsh, but the fact of the matter is that in our desire to keep relationships, we tend to go dumb. Actually, we become selfish, and the selfishness is what makes us do and believe dumb stuff. For example, the high profile executive man bamboozled by the bombshell who left him for the pool guy probably realizes that he was dumb for having paid more attention to her boobs than her being. The woman conned out of all her money by the dreamy playboy probably realizes how dumb it was to NOT have paid attention to more of his movements than the ones that he made when they were in her bed. The child (over or under the age of 18) on the other end of the addicted or deadbeat parent's promises should have been slower to believe him/her again after the first few broken ones. But when we desperately or selfishly want a relationship with another person, we tend to make them what we want them to be in order for them to fit perfectly inside the lie we've created for them in our minds and lives--even though it is dumb to do that! It's selfish on our parts because once we've decided who we want them to be, it no longer matters to us who they really are because we've decided what role they are going to play in our fantasy and if they are not that, we can change them. Don't be fooled into believing that your victim won't quickly pick up on your need for them to be who you want them to be. That's why it's so easy for them to lie to us, and so easy for us to believe their lies. In that situation, can we really be mad at them for lying to us? They are only doing to us what we've done to ourselves! It's like playing Follow the Leader. Either we led the lie about who we wanted them to be, and they followed, or they lied to us first and, because we wanted to believe whatever we were telling ourselves and others about them, we followed.
The fact of the matter is that it DOES NOT take intelligence to lie; just a dumb/selfish believer. And it's important to state here that lying and dying go hand in hand. Intelligence is required to live, for life and death exist first in the mind. It takes a lack of intelligence to die or to begin the process of dying. Let's look at how that works. At the end of every lie told and every lie believed is death of some sort. Let me say that again: AT THE END OF EVERY LIE TOLD AND EVERY LIE BELIEVED IS DEATH OF SOME SORT. It may not be a physical death; it may be emotional, mental or spiritual, but a lie is definitely necessary for death, for life is in the mind and the mind cannot die unless a lie is present. Remember the garden of Eden. The serpent had to lie to Eve to get her to eat of the forbidden fruit, which caused man to die or to fall from grace...but that's another story. Or maybe I should say it's another aspect of this equation that we'll get to at a later date, but for now, let's do today's math:
Life is intelligence and exists in the mind. In order to die, one must be lured by and follow a lie, which requires selfishness and/or stupidity. Intelligence will alert you when someone is lying, and will not allow you to follow a liar. Intelligence protects us from the liar's lair where death exists by not allowing us to believe a lie. Therefore, the mind without a lie doesn't die because it's protected from death by intelligence. If you believe the lie that there is no life after the death of the body, it will cause your mind to deteriorate and ultimately you will die. Life truly exists in the mind...
Side note: For animal lovers or haters, there are lower life forms or animals that aren't as intelligent as others. Remember, each animal has been given the right amount of intelligence necessary for him to be the that animal he is. Any more than that would make him a different animal. A dalmatian, for example, doesn't have to hunt food to survive so he doesn't need the intelligence of an eagle. A sheep can trust his shepherd to feed him or to lead him to a pasture to graze safely, so he doesn't have to be as intelligent as the goat who likes to chew on and eat whatever he can. If a sheep did that, he would no longer be a sheep. He'd be a goat!
Be Careful What You Think!
"As a man thinketh, so is he."
It's been said that "you are what you eat". Well, that can be true because if you sit around and eat unhealthy food all day long, you will be an unhealthy person. If you eat fatty foods all day, you will gain weight. If you eat light, you'll weigh a lot less than you would if you ate heavier. But let's not take this to the extreme. You won't turn into a sweet potato pie or a nacho cheese Dorito or even a BUR-rito just because you've been feasting that way all day, but you won't be as healthy as someone who eats well-balanced, well proportioned meals. So be careful what you eat.
On the other hand, you are what you think. Thinking is quite different from eating, yet they share important similarities. The main difference is that eating is physical and thinking is not. Thinking is spiritual because it is intangible and takes energy to do (it differs from emotional in that it doesn't require emotions and from mental because we're not talking about disorders or abilities). The greatest commonality between the two is that they both require ingestion, digestion and elimination; physical for the one and spiritual for the other. So though you are only technically what you eat, you are definitely what you think.
Now, for you road scholars out there who want to challenge the metaphor or simile here, we are not talking about the level of thought required to perform an action or carry out a task, but rather deep thinking. It's the stuff you meditate on or can't stop thinking about. It's the bullying that you can't let go of, or the revenge that you must seek. It's the mocking that you can't shut down or the heartbreak that you can't get over. It's the unfairness or the prejudice, the rejection or the ridicule, the success or the failure, the new house or the new car, the fancy clothes, expensive perfume or make-up. It's where you go to church or where you go to school. It's where you live or where you want to live, where you dine or where you want to dine. It's what became of your kids or what you or your spouse do for a living, etc. Bad or good, good or bad, all of these things are what cause you to be who you are and/or act as you act. You are whatever you think about. You are what dominates your thoughts, so...
...if your physical, spiritual, emotional or mental diet needs improving, so do you! Just as you must watch what you eat, you must watch how you think. What motivates you to do what you do, act as you act, say what you say to others, and/or think what you think about others? It's your own thoughts. (No, churchfolk, the devil ain't making you do what you do. It's your own stinking thinking!) If you're jealous of or judging other people harshly, it's because you haven't gotten over a pain of your own. It's because you're not who you want to be, or because you don't feel how you want to feel. But remember this: that's no one else's fault. Your being and existence starts with how you feel about yourself or your life. Don't hate the person who has more than you. Hate the thoughts that you have about not being able to have what you want enough to get rid of them and get what you truly desire! The only thing stopping you is you. It's not other people. If someone important to you told you that you'd never amount to anything, stop thinking or meditating on those negative words. Think about what you'd have to do to be what you desire to be---but that first begins with YOUR desire. You have to want to be something first. Don't expect good thoughts to fall out of the sky. In this hateful world, you have to hunt for good thoughts. The good news is that they are not hard to find if you look for them in the right places. Don't look for your drunk dad to pat you on the back. Hell, he's drunk! Don't look for your mom who is always putting others down to build you up. She's hateful! It's not personal. And for God's sake, stop looking for a mate to validate you. If you were negative when you attracted your mate, he/she was attracted to your negativity. He/she's not trying to fix you, and if he/she is, it's not for you. It's for them! Once you change, they're not going to like you anymore! Even if they put a lot of time into getting you to feel better about yourself. Trust me. He/she is not going to like the new you!
Don't look for a negative person to give you a green light. It's not going to happen. Find it in yourself to become positive. Birds of a feather flock together. If you want your thoughts to be positive, don't hang around negative people. If you want the people you hang around to be positive, don't say negative things to them. Do remember, however, that truth is NOT negative. If your child doesn't look like Barbie, don't focus on how beautiful she is; focus on her personality or intelligence. If the child is beautiful, but a nitwit, encourage her to be a model. (Just kidding! Well, sort of!) Lies and exaggerations are always negative. Positivity MUST be based on truth. Especially positivities about yourself, because just because you lie to yourself about stuff and believe it, doesn't mean others aren't going to see it as a lie. That will just lead you to be arrogant, narcissistic and, well, stupid! Encourage yourself, but keep it real!!!
It's been said that "you are what you eat". Well, that can be true because if you sit around and eat unhealthy food all day long, you will be an unhealthy person. If you eat fatty foods all day, you will gain weight. If you eat light, you'll weigh a lot less than you would if you ate heavier. But let's not take this to the extreme. You won't turn into a sweet potato pie or a nacho cheese Dorito or even a BUR-rito just because you've been feasting that way all day, but you won't be as healthy as someone who eats well-balanced, well proportioned meals. So be careful what you eat.
On the other hand, you are what you think. Thinking is quite different from eating, yet they share important similarities. The main difference is that eating is physical and thinking is not. Thinking is spiritual because it is intangible and takes energy to do (it differs from emotional in that it doesn't require emotions and from mental because we're not talking about disorders or abilities). The greatest commonality between the two is that they both require ingestion, digestion and elimination; physical for the one and spiritual for the other. So though you are only technically what you eat, you are definitely what you think.
Now, for you road scholars out there who want to challenge the metaphor or simile here, we are not talking about the level of thought required to perform an action or carry out a task, but rather deep thinking. It's the stuff you meditate on or can't stop thinking about. It's the bullying that you can't let go of, or the revenge that you must seek. It's the mocking that you can't shut down or the heartbreak that you can't get over. It's the unfairness or the prejudice, the rejection or the ridicule, the success or the failure, the new house or the new car, the fancy clothes, expensive perfume or make-up. It's where you go to church or where you go to school. It's where you live or where you want to live, where you dine or where you want to dine. It's what became of your kids or what you or your spouse do for a living, etc. Bad or good, good or bad, all of these things are what cause you to be who you are and/or act as you act. You are whatever you think about. You are what dominates your thoughts, so...
...if your physical, spiritual, emotional or mental diet needs improving, so do you! Just as you must watch what you eat, you must watch how you think. What motivates you to do what you do, act as you act, say what you say to others, and/or think what you think about others? It's your own thoughts. (No, churchfolk, the devil ain't making you do what you do. It's your own stinking thinking!) If you're jealous of or judging other people harshly, it's because you haven't gotten over a pain of your own. It's because you're not who you want to be, or because you don't feel how you want to feel. But remember this: that's no one else's fault. Your being and existence starts with how you feel about yourself or your life. Don't hate the person who has more than you. Hate the thoughts that you have about not being able to have what you want enough to get rid of them and get what you truly desire! The only thing stopping you is you. It's not other people. If someone important to you told you that you'd never amount to anything, stop thinking or meditating on those negative words. Think about what you'd have to do to be what you desire to be---but that first begins with YOUR desire. You have to want to be something first. Don't expect good thoughts to fall out of the sky. In this hateful world, you have to hunt for good thoughts. The good news is that they are not hard to find if you look for them in the right places. Don't look for your drunk dad to pat you on the back. Hell, he's drunk! Don't look for your mom who is always putting others down to build you up. She's hateful! It's not personal. And for God's sake, stop looking for a mate to validate you. If you were negative when you attracted your mate, he/she was attracted to your negativity. He/she's not trying to fix you, and if he/she is, it's not for you. It's for them! Once you change, they're not going to like you anymore! Even if they put a lot of time into getting you to feel better about yourself. Trust me. He/she is not going to like the new you!
Don't look for a negative person to give you a green light. It's not going to happen. Find it in yourself to become positive. Birds of a feather flock together. If you want your thoughts to be positive, don't hang around negative people. If you want the people you hang around to be positive, don't say negative things to them. Do remember, however, that truth is NOT negative. If your child doesn't look like Barbie, don't focus on how beautiful she is; focus on her personality or intelligence. If the child is beautiful, but a nitwit, encourage her to be a model. (Just kidding! Well, sort of!) Lies and exaggerations are always negative. Positivity MUST be based on truth. Especially positivities about yourself, because just because you lie to yourself about stuff and believe it, doesn't mean others aren't going to see it as a lie. That will just lead you to be arrogant, narcissistic and, well, stupid! Encourage yourself, but keep it real!!!
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