"In the baseball game of life, when a batter is up, the home plate umpire only focuses on the strike zone and the pitcher's mound. In order to keep all of the plays fair, He never gets personal with the batter or the pitcher."
Warning: STOP!!! If you have not read For Real or Fantasy-Part I, this blog may not make much sense to you. Take the time to read part one or you'll end up going for a crash landing without knowing you had been up in the air.
With all that's going on in all of our lives, how do you know when the heart is speaking? First, let's keep it real, and do some accounting: before you go from a head place to a heart place, you might want to count up the cost. Contrary to popular belief, the heart is NOT the seat of emotion, so this will NOT be a feel-good experience as you transition; it will be well worth the journey in the end, but there are going to be a lot of major bumps and bruises--guaranteed. There will be war wounds and battle scars. In reality, the heart is straight forward and blunt, and will plow forward without caring about how much life hurts. The heart is well aware of the pain of growing, but knows what's good for you and won't veer from that place to pacify your feelings. People with heart seem cold because they don't tend to the cries and complaints of others. They are not cold and callous, just sure of the outcome and unswayed by any murmurs. Think of Jesus on the cross saying, "My God, My God. Why hast Thou forsaken Me?" The Father watched Him go through what He went through, but did not take Him down from the cross. The Father knew the consequences of Him enduring the pain as well as the consequence of Him being removed from the mission before it was completed. Though well aware of the pain and suffering of His Only Begotten Son, the Father was NOT in an emotional place. Heart is crucial--and seemingly cruel. But that's only if you look at it from a head place--the place where people will settle for feeling good instead of doing good for others.
Confused? Think of the heart as a home plate umpire, and life as a baseball game with you up to bat. If the ball goes over the strike zone, and you either strike and miss or don't swing at all, the umpire will simply say, "Stee Rike One." You won't get a second chance and he certainly won't take the time to explain what you did wrong, what you could have done better or what you should do the next time. That's the coach's job. The ump doesn't give a hoot. As far as the ump is concerned, there's a game to be played and He must be fair to both sides. He can't get emotionally involved or his judgement will become clouded. If the ball doesn't enter the strike zone, he will call "BALL". Well, the pitcher isn't going to like that, but the ump doesn't give a hoot about that, either. As far as he's concerned, there's a game to be played... Your coach, who is emotionally involved with you, is going to take notes and work with you to improve your game. The Ump is not going to. If at the end of the at-bat, you have three strikes and no hits, the ump is not going to pat you on the back and wish you well. He is going to emotionlessly step back into his area and wait for the next batter or the change of position for each team. If he's a good ump, he's never going to take any of it personally. Now, if you, as a foolish batter or coach, want to make it personal for him, you can, but He has the option of simply ejecting you. That's the chance you take when you try to argue with the one who has all the facts. Sometimes in a real baseball game, the umpire, who is merely human, makes a bad call; the Ump in life's game never does.
So how do you know when the heart is speaking? When you walk into a situation and get a straight forward answer with no explanation. Like the umpire in the baseball game, Heart looks at the situation, not the people. Before continuing on, go back and reread the quote of the day for further understanding. In order to keep things fair between you and others, Heart has to focus on the situation, not the people.
Your long time lover decides to take the relationship to the next level and mentions marriage, and you ask yourself, "why not?" The heart will say, "you don't love her". The head will say, "Okay, you know you don't want to get married because you never got over the ex, but she and I can make this work if we try hard enough." Or it will say, "Well, being in this relationship is better than being alone, and if you don't marry her now, she's going to leave." The heart, when you go back to check will say again, "you don't love her." It will NEVER change it's answer because it only deals with facts and truth.
When walking into the building where your job interview is scheduled to take place, the heart will say, "you don't want to work here." The head will say, "Well, beggars can't be choosey. You'd better take what you can get. It's better than nothing." Or in a school situation, your heart will say, "don't accept the scholarship. You won't be happy at that school." The head will say, "you may not get another full ride. You'd better take what you can get."
Upon meeting a potential love interest, the heart will say, "there's no potential for love here." The head will say, "Oh, shut up heart, what's love got to do with it? Why should I listen to you? You're the one that got me into this position in the first place! If I hadn't listened to you and left my ex, I wouldn't be alone. Yeah, I know she was stealing checks because she didn't want to work, but she may not have gotten caught!"
The heart will say, "he's no good for you." The head will say, "you know there's a shortage of men. Okay, he's not your type, but you can work with him. You can convince him to get a job, pay his child support, and/or that his ex will never love him the way you can and if you try hard enough, he will stop leaving you at night and running over to her house whenever she calls."
At church or work when the pastor/boss looks at you and undresses you with his eyes, the heart will say, "he's a pervert." The head will say, "that's a man of God/a married man with a family. Stop thinking he's looking at you all sexy like that. You ought to be ashamed of yourself for thinking of him in that way. It's your fault he's looking at you that way; your lust makes him look at your chest like that. You are going to hell/get fired for judging him."
When dealing with family members and their finances, your heart will say, "don't pay their rent" or "don't cosign for that car/loan". The head says, "that's family. Don't forget where you came from and don't ever turn your back on family. Families helps each other." The heart warns again, "don't pay their bills." The head says, "how can you just let your family down like that? They keep coming to you for their rent, and even though you're tired of paying it for them, you can't let family down". The heart knows that that family member's rent/bills are due at the same time every month, with no surprises, and that they should and would be budgeting for it if they didn't have you there to give them their handout. "That could be you in that situation one day" is what the head says, guilting you into doing what makes that "loving" family member consider you his/her fool. The heart knows that the family members could and would pay their own rent/bills if they didn't have available to them a sucker like you who will make sure their bills are paid while they go out and buy iPhones, iPads, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, direct t.v., expensive clothes and shoes for their kids, and other guilty pleasures/leisures of life they really can't afford. Not only does the heart know that they will take care of their business without you, it knows how resourceful they can be when necessity hits. Trust the heart, for it also knows when family members really need the help that you can afford to give to them. Heart will never let YOU down. It knows how hard it would be for you to wake up and realize that that family member really was in need. In that case, the heart will say, "give it to them." Even when your head is saying "Hell no!"
The heart will give you only black or white facts--like them or not. The head will cause you to compromise and use shades of grey as it convinces you of what you should or shouldn't be doing. The head will lead you to settle for less or to do something deemed good for ulterior reasons (you want people to like you). It will convince you that you don't deserve anything good, so you'd better take what you can get. The heart is filled with hard core truth, and that's why many people shut theirs down. They shut the heart down because the head seduces--explains, excuses, compromises and lies--and does far more talking to sway you to the feel good decision (which ultimately blows up in your face anyway). The heart is not going to get emotionally involved or try to convince you of anything. In staying emotionless, the heart is able to see clearly. It's vision is never clouded, therefore allowing it to simply state the facts. The heart uses few words because it is an internal umpire; it deals with true facts only. If a lot of talking and reasoning is going on, that's your head; not your heart. Go to a quiet place and listen for the few, quiet words of your heart. If you hear nothing, well...you'll need to find someone who has heart and can teach you what it takes to develop and nurture yours. And that begins with integrity. Learn to do what's right; not just for you, but for others who will be effected by your decisions. Once you're able to see how what you do affects others, you will know that the framework for real heart is being laid on the inside of you. And that is what real life is made of.
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