"Opinions are like butt holes. Everybody has one and nothing comes out of it but sh**."
DISCLAIMER: This blog is in no way shape or form being used as a means of putting anyone down or supporting any kind of non-integral activity. The writer/writers here have way too much integrity, education and experience to go on prejudicial, emotional rants. You can rest assured that in this blog, there will be foundational principles, not opinions, unless otherwise stated (sometimes I may have to express an opinion or two. No judgement, for I was born with a hole in my butt, too). If you read something here, now or in the future, and feel attacked, ridiculed or put down, don't check us; check yourself! If you feel mocked or criticized after reading this or any other blog on this site or any of its affiliations, it's going to be because of an unresolved issue that you have! That's the guilt or sensitivity of your own issue. But don't fret. It happens to all of us at one time or another. I can remember taking it personally when I would hear men say that all women were gold diggers, or that every one of us had a price tag. But then I heard Tyler Perry's "Madea" say, "It's not what they call you. It's what you answer to." In that moment I realized that just because the man talking had had that experience or formed that opinion of women, it didn't mean he was directing it at me personally, unless he'd had that experience with me. When I realized it wasn't personal, I began to see the truth of what I was so vehemently defending. From the time I was a kid, I was taught by older females the different things I needed to do to attract a man who would take care of me. I was taught to go for the one with the biggest paycheck. I was taught to look for the man who had impressive things to offer--good looks, a nice car, good job, money to spend on me--the one who could afford to buy me nice things and make ME look good. What did I have to offer in return? Good looks, nice body, sex, cooking ability, etc., anything that would attract him to me. (I'm not saying that I personally have all those things; I'm saying that I was taught that those were the things men wanted in return). If I'm selling my goods to the highest bidder, the one with the most money, etc., then what am I doing other than gold digging? I learned very quickly that if I were going to sell myself, I was going to be someone's possession. That meant they could tell me what to do. And I'd have to do it. That sounds like slavery to me, and I wasn't feeling that! Not wanting an owner, I decided to be my own gold mine. I don't know, maybe it's me, but I always thought that would be more fun. Ah... Independence...I just love the feel of it...But back to the point...
If people are buying and selling themselves or each other, that's gold digging. That's what happened in the 1800"s. Some found gold and others bought it. And that's what is happening in the hookup game. These days, relationships are not personal. It's all business, but this isn't new! What happened to the days when couples struggled together to become one strong entity before emerging publicly as the Sphinx who rose from the ashes? What happened to the days when men supported their women and women supported their men...
...my bad. Those days never existed--at least not that this generation or the last has seen. But there have always been couples out there who were that way. And there still are. There are women who fight for their men and men who fight for their women. There are couples who fight for each other. So that's what you should be looking for in a mate. Make it personal. Find a relationship that isn't like everyone else's. Find someone who is truly interested in you; not what you have to offer. If you want your relationship to last forever, seek out someone who is interested in you as a person. That way, WHEN you change, he or she will still be interested. If your mate is only with you for your looks, your money, your fame, your reputation, etc., when any of that changes, so will the interest of your mate.
Side Note: Yea. I know. There are couples who are same gender. No, I didn't leave you out. I was just on a role and didn't feel like taking the time to list all of the politically correct issues. It takes too long. I figured if you'd see the point without all of that. I didn't take the time to point out interracial couples, bestiality, stalking or necrophilia, either, but they exists too. Don't be so sensitive. It ain't personal...
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