Wednesday, May 9, 2012

For Real Happiness, Do The Math

"One plus one equals two--unless the one you add yourself to never adds to you."

Let's do some simple pre-algebra here.  C'mon!  It's not going to be that bad.  Work with me...
A negative plus a negative equals a negative (-5 + -5 = -10).  A negative plus a positive will decrease the positive (-3 + 5 = 2).  A negative plus it's positive opposite will cancel each other out (-9 + 9 = 0).
When adding negatives and positives, if the larger of the numbers has a negative sign, the sum is
going to be negative ( -10 + 3 = -7).  If the two numbers are equally positive, the total will be double the positive (5 + 5 = 10).  If a smaller positive is added to a larger positive, the end result will be a greater positive than both (3 + 8 = 11).   If one number is greater than the other, but both are positive, the total will be a larger positive (20 + 14 = 34).  And so it is with relationships.  Oh, don't act surprised.  You knew that's where I was going with this!

If both people in a relationship are negative, the relationship will be negative, each party diminishing the other's energy.  If one of the people in the relationship is more positive than the other, the negative one will pull the other down.  If one of the two people is as negative as the other is positive, they will cancel each other out.  There will be no chance of growth for either, so the relationship is going to be flat, humdrum, boring.  This is the perfect augur for an affair.  If the negativity in the relationship is far greater than the positivity, the relationship is going to be a negative one.  Yeah, the sex is great.  Just don't try to talk to one another afterward because it will negate the orgasm.  BUT...

...if both parties are equally positive, that's going to be one hell of a relationship because one will double the other's fun!  If one party is positive but doesn't have quite the life experience of the other, don't fret.  It's okay.  The one with the most positivity will pull the other up to a more positive place.  If one is quite a bit more positive than the other, it's still all good because positivity begets positivity.  Just don't forget about us little folk who enjoy ourselves when we can catch a movie together as you're flying each other to Paris for lunch or observing the brightly colored macaws at the clay licks in Tambopata, Peru!

What equation best describes your relationship with your mate, your mother, your father, your parents, your children, your friends, co-workers, neighbors, church members, etc.?  If the sum of your relationship is negative, you need to do one of two things: improve it or get out!  This life is filled with positivity that's just waiting for someone to partake of it, but far too many of us settle for less.  Those who settle for less do so because they don't believe they can have anything good.  Unfortunately, most people don't believe they can have anything good because that's what they've been told by someone who had negative experiences in life.  They always become the experts at what can and cannot happen for us because no one ever asks them how they ended up in their negative situations.  No one ever questions whether or not they are the reason for their lack or low self esteem.  I can remember the girls in school who were told to "keep their skirts down and their books open".  They didn't take the advice of those older than us and ended up starting families before they were truly able to afford them.  If the expense of a family is created before it can actually be met, it's never easy to catch up with the cost of living.  Life just keeps on getting more expensive.   Not only that, before a young parent learns to prioritize, they end up spending lots of money and time on things they/their kids really don't need.  A young parent is more likely to try to keep up with the Joneses than the older one who has had time to explore the world around him/her.  The older ones also get to watch other parents around them and can make decisions about what they will and won't put up with when they have children.

Ask yourself this: why can't you have good?  Who said you couldn't?  Do you ever put your best foot forward?  Go for the gusto.  Decide to enjoy life in an unconventional way.  Do something different from what you've only seen in your family, your school, your culture, your neighborhood.  Think outside the box.  Explore possibilities before you decide that goodness is made only for rich people.  Your riches may be in your positivity or your willingness to try something fun.  Don't let others tell you what you can't do because they just may be the negative in your equation.  With all the negativity in the world, not many people are partaking of the positivity that still exists!  Positivity is not extinct, and it's not in your wallet; it's in your attitude.  While everyone else is complaining about how hard life is, go out and discover what they haven't.  Be the one who breaks the cycle of negativity in your family/social circle.  If you believe you can, you will.  Just remember this one thing because it is the key to success: in everything you do in life, shoot for the moon, for even if you miss, you'll still be among the stars.

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