"We are all going to grow physically; that comes with age, but maturity is the manifestation of mental, emotional, and spiritual growth, which doesn't have to come at all if you don't want it to."
To date, how many birthdays have you had? Of those birthdays, all of them have brought about some change, even if it was just that you became another year older. Now, ask yourself how much growth has taken place over those birthdays? I don't mean growth in the abdominal area--belly fat or beer guts. Nor do I mean larger hips and/or butts. That's change; not growth! Change is inevitable as we put on the years--even though some of you are still holding on to those clothes you wore in your youth because you've not grown or matured enough in the mind to know that they really don't fit anymore. (It doesn't count if you have to hold your breath or suck in your stomach in order to zip them up unless that was what you had to do years ago in order for them to fit. And if you did, those old clothes never fit you. Throw that crap away!) Maturity, on the other hand, is what happens when you realize that the way you're doing things--the choices and decisions you're making--are the result of immature thinking, which is how you keep ending up in the same place even if your situation changes. Every relationship begins and ends in the same way. You're pregnant again or...you got another one pregnant! He beat you again, even though he promised it would be different this time (well, he didn't lie completely; it was a different ass whoopin'). You're having to call a friend or relative to help you bail your child out of jail because he/she is still getting high after he/she promised to stop if you gave him more money or trusted him with the keys to your car. It's the first of the month and you don't have your rent so you have to turn a trick or two, even though last month you said you weren't going to degrade yourself like that ever again. When the simple stresses of life hit, you fell off the wagon after only a couple of weeks or sobriety...
These situations are going to continue to happen in your life until YOU do something different; until YOU make a different choice. What if, until you made that different choice, you couldn't have another birthday. How long would you be 22? And for the wise guy who sees this as a fountain of youth kind of thing, with each year of 22, you are physically getting older. Your body is not suspended in time, just your mind. So when you try to hang out at the pool with the other 22 year olds, they are going to run!! What if you had to stay that age? Everything around you continues to move at its regular pace, but you've been left behind. The music you like to party to isn't being played at the parties where the other 22 year olds are. The conversation is not the same, either, but you can't talk to others your age because you can't keep up with their conversation and they are so not interested in yours. Your interests are not the same, because as others your age were growing up, you didn't mature with them. Now, to them, you're an absolute nuisance! To the younger generation, you're a whatever the new word for "dweeb" or "corny" is.
The fact of the matter is that this is not a "what if." If you're not maturing, this is what's happening to you in reality. The only difference is that you don't see it; you are completely unaware, and you're probably feeling shunned by a certain group of people who, according to you, think they're better than you. Well guess what. If they've matured and you haven't, they ARE better than you! Yes, I actually said it. They ARE better! Mature people don't tend to pair up with immature folks their age because, by nature, the immature one will stunt the growth process of the mature ones. While they are talking about investing or investments, you're whining about yet another frivolous affair and the heartbreak that ensued. And yes, they know. You really loved this one. Just like all the others. While they are talking about marriage and children, you're talking about bar or bed hopping. While you're talking about how you got over on some unsuspecting person who believed the sob story you told him/her before swindling them out of something you really didn't need, they are sizing you up and seeing you for the opportunistic manipulator you are, and realizing that you're not good company for them. They don't find your deceptive ways cute at all! In fact, you're a danger to them and any friends you have in common, and believe me, they are going to spread the word. If you are lagging behind doing the same things others your age have grown out of, THEY ARE BETTER THAN YOU. They've moved on into higher order thinking. While you're thinking like a child, they are problem solving and planning as mature adults.
Change is not your option, but growth is. If you recognize your situation as one that is unpleasant and not good for you, it's up to you to decide whether or not to get out, and whether or not you will get into that same situation again. If you end up there again and don't get out, you've not matured. If you end up in that same situation, recognize the similarities and then get out, you're on your way to being better than you were. Everybody who makes better decisions than they did when they were where you are right now, is better than you because they make better choices. The only way to keep up with those who are better is for you to make better choices than those you've been making. In other words, grow the hell up! Grow with each birthday. Instead of making a "new year's resolution" this year, make a birthday resolution: Resolve to be better than you were last year. If you've had a birthday already this year, resolve to be a better person than you are today by your next birthday. Maturity is the key to everything better. Life is better when you're able to make mature decisions. Your family will be better when you start making more mature decisions. Your job experience will be better when you begin to make more mature decisions. YOU will be better when you make more mature decisions in your everyday living. Be better by being more mature than you were before.
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