How Valuable is Pretty?

"The bad news is that beauty is NOT universal; no one person is pretty/handsome to everyone.  The good news is that it doesn't have to be."

Mirror, mirror on the wall.  I know I'm the fairest of them all, but if I tell somebody that, they'll shoot me.  So let's just keep that between me and you.  Ah-ight, Mirror?  We're going to keep this one on the low, right?  Hahaha.  That's what Samantha Brick should have said.  Folks are mad and in an uproar over what the woman said, but she was just speaking her mind.  Now most of us know that most of us have things about ourselves that we like a lot; we just play it down so that others can compliment us in those areas, right?  From our butts to our hair; our eyes to our lips; our hands to our feet, there's something, and that's okay in it's place.  Rule of thumb, Samantha, you don't ever let it come out of your mouth.  If  you want to be complimented publicly, you let others do that for you.  I understand "affirmations", but those are the things you say to yourself  to give you the boost YOU need; you don't write a column about being "too pretty", publish it for the world to read, then expect others to agree with you!  There are four known things that will get you egged or targeted in some other not so gracious way, if you speak them aloud without knowing your audience: your wealth, politics, how right your religion is, and your beauty.  These subjects are taboo unless you're being subjective.  You can talk about the wealth, politics, religion, and beauty of others, but you must leave yourself out of it unless you want to drum up some haters.

But here's the deal: how much of what she was saying was farfetched?  A lot of what she had to say was on point, however, she shouldn't have related it to herself.  The best way to get people to hate you is to flaunt your pretty; no one likes arrogance or vanity in others.   Ask---well, I don't even want to say her name, but you know who.  I avoid mentioning her name because it's just so taboo to me.  I'll say this much, though:  her first and last initial are the same, and her claim to fame is her "pretty".  You know who I'm talking about.  Every woman wants to be pretty, unless she's a little warped, but there really is a cost that comes with that.  It is sometimes called "the curse of a beautiful woman".  If you're truly pretty, there are a few things you need to know so that you can handle the pretty without the pretty handling you.  First, there will be women who will hate you with a passion and feel entitled to "knock you down a peg or two."  They are mean and vicious, and don't ever stop to think about your feelings at all because they don't think you have any.  Secondly, most men will feel the right to use you as a notch on their belts, for having been with you will give them a societal award sort of like a boy scott patch.  It will give them bragging rights--and they will brag--and those they brag to will give them the reward they so richly desire--regardless of what the bragging does to you.  Thirdly, not many people will take you seriously because the pretty can be too much of a distraction for them.  There is a tendency to think that every good looking person only wants to hear how good looking they are.  As a result, their words are often not taken as seriously as they should, hence all the sexual harassment and hostility in the work place.  And finally, there are those unfortunate situations where the distraction becomes such an obsession that it can lead to stalking.  Communication with many begins and ends with your pretty.  But these were the kinds of things Ms. Brick spoke about in her article.  All true, but where she went wrong was when she made her pretty the target of everyone else's opinion.  Ladies and gents, 100% GUARANTEED: if you publicly declare yourself "pretty", you are going to bring a judgement on yourself that you will not be ready for!  It's as if you declared yourself beautiful and everyone else--and their children---and their parents---and their siblings--and their dogs---and their cats---UGLY.  People will take this personally!  Don't do it unless you're one of those people who feel that any attention is better than no attention at all!

Judgement is never easy, but if you draw attention to yourself, it's inevitable.  If you flash your car, folks are going to criticize you for what you should have bought instead.  If you flash your money, there's going to be a buzz about how frivolous or wasteful you are, and what you should be spending "all that money" on--which is ALWAYS going to be different from what you're doing because the folk think they can spend your money better than you can.  If you talk about the success of your children, someone is going to find out about the one little mistake your child made that he/she didn't tell you about, and blow it up to panoramic size, just to make it juicy enough to discredit your child/children any and everywhere they can.  If you brag about your pretty, people are going to capitalize on the one feature of yours that's not so becoming!  Pretty is not universal.  One man's pleasure is another man's pain.  One man's trash is another man's treasure.  It's okay to think you're beautiful, but you'll get into trouble if you expect or demand others to feel the same.  Truly, being pretty is overrated.  It doesn't pay the mortgage nor does it make the price of groceries disappear. Sure there's the case where some guy gave a $250,000 Aston Martin to this woman because he thought she was beautiful, but what was the intangible cost?  What did she have to do in return?  Did she have to put herself in a position to be salivated on by him?  Did she somewhere in her mind feel she owed him or had to alter her life/behavior to keep him from taking it back?  Somewhere, you can rest assured, there was a cost.  How much of her soul did she have to sell to get that gift?  Did she become spiritually enslaved to him?  The point is that nothing in life is free.  There's even a cost to following Jesus, so I know she had to give something in return.  Maybe she gave first--whether she knew it or not!  Even so, it takes a lot of mental work to be pretty--which is what Samantha Brick was trying to say.  Being pretty is not what makes you a target, though; it's what you do with your pretty that can ignite a  hellfire that you may not be ready for.  If you feel entitled because you're pretty, you're going to bring on judgement.  If you're pretty and you don't demand attention or certain reactions from others, you'll be okay.  Your best bet is to turn your "pretty" into true beauty.  The way to do that is to use the time that pretty people spend promoting themselves to work on your character.  Pretty can never be beauty if it's only on the surface.  Allow it to go deep, take root and branch into something that will leave a legacy of goodness from within your heart and soul.  Otherwise, you will only be talked about in conversation that is designed to rip you apart.  Samantha Brick, you brought this trouble on yourself.  Good luck with it!