There is nothing that secures a foundation more solidly than cement. That's why for generations, cement has been used in securing the foundation of many buildings, other edifices or great structures that are expected to last a lifetime. Without love, a relationship is like a straw house built on sand; when even the smallest amount of pressure is applied, it will cave in or come crashing down.
Okay folks, get ready because I ain't going to pussyfoot around this one. Love is the sum of truth, integrity and intelligence. It's not two out of the three, it is all three combined. If you are missing one of these elements, you DO NOT have love. If you're a liar, you're not a lover. If you're a cheater, you're NOT a lover. If you're not intelligent...you guessed it...like it or not, you are NOT a lover. In other words, if you lied to him, you didn't love him. If you cheated on her, you didn't love her. If you do stupid stuff to each other in the relationship, you don't love each other!
Many people are disgruntled with the whole concept of love because they don't believe it exists, but it does. The problem is that most don't truly know what love is. Love is not the stuff that happens over night, and it's never at first sight; that would be affection, or maybe lust--which actually has more to do with intense desire than sex. I know that there are some who would argue that, but I also know many who would now agree, after having had their own personal experiences with the "at-first-sight", that it really wasn't love. This world hasn't seen real love in a very long time--just variations of it. Well, love is not one of those things you can chip off of and have it remain the same. You can't take the part of it that you want and discard the rest. Once you remove any of it's elements, it's no longer love. The last few generations are guilty of that--probably starting with Walt Disney. We looked at the happily ever after but never really paid close attention to what was going on in the whole story. Her mother dies, then her father dies and she's left to live with a wicked stepfamily. Now you know Cinderella had some issues that Prince Charming had to deal with that made him want to take her back to her stepmama. I'll bet she didn't want to wash another dish, dust another piece of furniture, feed another animal or sew another garment. And for the femme fatales out there, I'm not saying she had to do housework because she was the woman. I'm saying that we don't know of any other marketable skills she had, so it's probably safe to assume that she didn't go to work outside the house right away. That left her at home. Well, she had to eat while she was there, didn't she? Okay, maybe she went to live in a fully staffed mansion. She did marry a prince, after all. But even with that, she had to have had flashbacks of scrubbing toilets, washing dishes, scrubbing floors, etc., and I'm sure she went commando on the prince while it was happening--whether he realized what the hell she was screaming at him about or not! Maybe while she was PMS-ing! Oh, what her steps put her through came out on him at some point or another. Let's just keep it real! You know one kiss from a gorgeous prince didn't make all of that pain go away! She brought major issues into that relationship.
And that's just it. We bring issues into our relationships that love has to be solid enough to withstand. Therefore, there can be no cracks in the foundation of your love. It has to be as solid as the cement and concrete mixture. In order for a mother to love her child, she has to be more than just a female with a womb capable of producing children. In order for a father to love his child, he has to be more than just a male with viable sperm. Love is not like the aorta--a physical part of the heart. Love is intangible. Just because you have a heart that beats doesn't mean you're capable of love. And it can get confusing at times. People think they love because they've been told they do, but inside, they know they don't. Love is not automatic; it's learned. It's not A given; it IS given. If it's not given to you, you can't give it to anyone else. If you don't trust enough to love, you don't trust enough to be loved. Love is not linear; it's circular. It has to be reciprocated. Love ain't love until you give it away, and you have to get it from somewhere in order to give it away.
Love is the substance of all that's good. If you have no love, you ain't no good. No matter how good you want to be, good always begins with love.
Love will secure the foundation of a child and allow him to soar. He will soar personally, socially, academically, athletically, etc. Whatever he puts his mind to, he'll be able to do. Please do not confuse loving a child with spoiling a child. Buying a bunch of trendy things will never be as valuable as a hug given at a time when the child can't express what he's feeling. The love inside the hugger will connect with what the child is feeling and cause the one who loves him/her to reach out. We all know this one. We've all been in a spot where we needed someone in that moment to just know that we needed to feel loved.
Don't confuse love with biology. It's more psychological because it involves the psyche or the mind much more than the bloodline, which is where most people get it confused, but that's another--a whole nother--blog. We'll get to that one eventually. Just know this...
...love is the sum of truth, intelligence and integrity connecting with the truth, intelligence and integrity in someone else. If you claim to love but are lacking one or more of these elements, your love is not complete. It will work for no one and no one else's love will work for you--not until you reach out and become complete in these areas and cement the foundation of your love.
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