Friday, January 27, 2012

Remembering Jarret...

"A picture is worth a thousand words; your memory will last through eternity."


I'm a pretty tough cookie, but remembering this dude is tough on me.  He was such a cool guy with a genuine concern for people.  I had to ask myself: why do the good ones go?  Then I answered myself (yes, I do that sometimes, and you know you do it, too!): So they won't be corrupted by others.  Corruption occurs when conversation is developed and based on opinions.  Opinions are dangerous and, as I'd always tell my kids as they were growing up: Opinions are like butt holes; everybody has one and nothing comes out of them but...well...you know the rest.  Opinions crowd out facts and intelligence.  In fact, whenever you have a conversation with someone who lacks intelligence or facts, you're going to get nothing but an opinion.  If you repeat what you heard, you're just spreading...well, you know the rest!  If you're stating your opinion and find that others don't want to hear it, don't take it personally.  You're only talking...anyway!

No, seriously.  I don't know why my nephew left so soon.  I have to believe that his time here was up, but as he said before he left, he had a "good ride."  And he did.  This kid got to rub elbows with some pretty important people, including the one and only Barack Obama.  And that's who he reminded me of.  He had great potential and wanted to do so many things.  Now,  I'm not the foremost expert on Jarret.  That would be his mom, who he loved as much as anyone could love anybody.  She was his SHE-RO.  I knew more about Jarret from his "noise" in the background of my conversations with her than my own conversations with him!  He was often the peanut gallery of our marathon phone calls!  God, I loved that kid! I looked forward to his comments because they were always silly and uplifting.  He was so full of life.  I remember when he learned to walk.  It was the cutest thing.  He was young for walking age, but around a brother and cousins who were older.  Determined to keep up with them, he got up and learned to walk--sideways!  With one arm always extended for balance.  Didn't matter what it took, he was determined to keep up with them.  And he did.  And that's what I remember about Jarret.  He was determined.  He was determined to leave his mark, and he did that in just 29 years.  I don't think Jarret ever met anyone who didn't want to call him friend.  He was very passionate and compassionate.  I remember seeing him in the hospital around this time last year.  I was amazed at how he took the time to genuinely greet and make feel welcomed any and all of the hospital staff who served him.  Before they'd poke or prod, he'd take the time to find out how they were feeling first.  It was amazing to watch.  Even in his illness, he was determined to be that upstanding kind of guy.  And that's how I will always remember him: determined.

So, back to us.  What word will the people around you use to describe you?  What word will always come up when people think of you?  "Friend" or "foe"?  "Trifling" or "amazing"?  "Good" or "bad"?  "Considerate" or "opportunistic"?  "Shallow" or "Deep"?  "Loving" or  "evil"?  "Fly" or "shy" (had to get that one in there for my boy!)?

Whatever you want to be remembered by begins and ends with you.  And remember: character is projected by how you think; not the things you do for other people.  I realize this is a tough one for most because so much emphasis is placed on behavior.  Behavior can be tricky for those who are not lead by the heart, but for those who are, the motivation of the doer is seen more clearly than the action done.  Nice gestures are the richest tool for a manipulator.  Child molesters are well known for that.  So are abusers, rapists, womanizers/man-eaters and killers.  So if you don't want your child molested, yourself to be abused, raped, womanized/emasculated,  murdered, or manipulated in any other kind of way, get to know the way the person or people you come into contact with think.  Don't be fooled by their behavior!    

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