Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Selfish or Selfless?

"With YOU on your mind so much, it's truly impossible for you to think about anything else."


We all know that many people are looking for love in all the wrong places.  What we don't understand is that they are not finding it because they are looking for it in all the wrong ways!  In order to find love, you have to know how to give it.  Love isn't love until you give it away.  Love completes itself when you give it and it returns to you, and not necessarily from the place you gave it.  Love can be as simple as the energy that generates a smile from inside the heart of the person whose face it's on.  That is, of course, if the smile is genuine.  If that smile didn't start in the heart, you're smiling back at a CROCODILE.  And in case you don't know the song, the crocodile is not smiling; he's only "imagining how well you fit within his skin".  In other words, watch who you're smiling back at.  It might be someone who is just sizing you up--fattening you up for the kill!   No, seriously.  Smiles are important because they can release the positive energy of love and life.  Most people think that good behavior is the byproduct of love.  It isn't.  Kindness, which is different from good behavior, is the byproduct of love.  The difference?  One is directly controlled by the doer in order to get the response he desires from you, the receiver; the other comes automatically from the heart and isn't shaped by the receiver's response at all.  One says, "I want you to see how good a person I am.  I'll cook you a nice meal/buy you something nice."  The other says, "Ah.  You're on my mind right now, bringing me joy.  I think I'll cook you a good meal/buy you something nice.  That will make you happy, too, today."  One is sel-fish; the other is self-less.  Selfishness is fueled by negative thoughts/energy; selflessness is fueled by love thoughts, which is the energy of life.  REALITY CHECK:  if you live an existence only thinking about you, you're killing yourself.  Through selfishness, you rob yourself of the quality of life!

Let's look at this.  How often do YOU think about YOU?  If I could hear your answer to this question, though there are some who are not afraid to admit they live in a "me-centered universe",  I'd hear from most, "not much.  I'm ALWAYS thinking about other people.  I rarely do anything for myself!"  But if we looked inside your life, I'm sure we'd find that you're thinking about yourself a lot more often than you ever imagined.  For example, when you do things for the people around you, does it create a tab for them that they'll have to pay someday?  Do they somehow OWE you a favor in return?  Do you expect them to be there for you when you need something in the future?  Think about it.  Why do you really do what you do?  When you do favors or buy gifts for others, is it for them, or is it for you?  Are you one of those people who buys gifts because ultimately, you want one in return?  Are you one who does what you do because you want someone in particular (boss, pastor, parent, someone you'd like to sleep with)  to notice you?  Is it because you want to be seen?  If your motivation for doing what you do is to get something out of it; you're ONLY thinking about YOU.  If you do what you do in order to get a return on your investment, stop thinking you're selfLESS and honorable; you're selFISH and egotistical.  Yes, you should work hard to get that promotion you want or more hours at work, but think about why do you want it/them? Do you represent the company well?  Sure, you've been there longer than another person, but are you what the company needs and is looking for, or is it more about the title and more money for you?  Maybe you don't want others to wonder why you've been there so long and aren't yet a supervisor.  Are you really the best person for the job?  If you work because you need the money, the person who works because he loves what he does IS going to be promoted over you or be given more hours.  When you're working, it's about productivity for the company; it's not about you, the type of reputation you'd like to build for yourself or the lifestyle you'd like to live.  Sure you have bills to pay and things you want to buy, but so do the people who own the company you work for!  Lights, rent, water and trash pick-up aren't free in their building.  A bigger building on the other side of town may be better for their business.  They have to earn money to pay for all of that, and that money comes from what you and your co-workers bring in for the company.  So if you're skipped over for that promotion, or someone you don't know is hired in that position, it may not be as personal as you might think!  It may be because of the earning potential of the person hired.

Here's one: to all the "Christian" folk out there, why do you visit the "sick and the shut-in"?  Is it because those with limited ability/mobility may be lonely and in need of company or may have errands to run with no one who cares available to help them out?  Or are you just trying to secure YOUR spot in Heaven?  Well, that's not quite how Heaven works.  It's not a place for those looking for social promotion.  I know, OUCH!!!  Check your motive: why do you do what you do?  Are your acts good or are they really selfish?  The best way to check that one is to identify who the benefactor of your kind gesture really is.  If it's YOU, you're selfish; if it's others, you're selfless.

Selflessness is an extremely admirable quality, but not something you can attain through acts of unselfish behavior.  It's not something you can do; you're either selfless or you're not.  You can't do something for someone and then convince yourself you did it for the right reasons in order to be seen as unselfish.  If you want to be selfless, here's a tip:  Pay attention to WHAT needs to be done, not WHO you're doing it for.  When the what becomes a who, selfishness is the motivator (as well as the end product because it's never ending).  The point in being selfless?  Peace, love, joy, patience, goodness, kindness, self-control, a balanced life, freedom from stress and strife, and....drumroll, please....TOTAL POSITIVE ENERGY!  Positive energy uplifts you and everyone around you.  It will take you to all of the places where peace, joy and love can be found and will connect you to all of that.  You will be like a positive energy magnet, and before you know it, you'll be receiving as much as you're giving out without ever thinking about it!  You won't have to look for love; love will find you!  That is what true love and true life are all about: shared positive energy!!!!  And that, in case you're wondering, is what Heaven IS all about!  If your life feels like hell, maybe it's because you are selfishly killing yourself.  Give yourself a break today.  Do something positive that has nothing to do with you.

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