"Finding out about you is not always easy to do, but it's always best for everyone involved."
One thing about this blog: if you have any issues (and we all do), you're going to find out what they are, and that's a good thing. Most of us walk around with issues that are never addressed, and we end up blindly or foolishly passing them on to our kids, who pass them on to the next generation. That's what you call generational curses. On the other hand, if you get the help you need, your issue will be one less that your child will have to deal with. Every generation brings on new issues and, believe you me, your child will have enough of his/her own. He/she certainly won't need yours as extra baggage to carry around throughout his/her life. If you address yours, your mind will be free enough to help your children address theirs. That's what makes a good parent. If you don't deal with yours, your family will suffer spiritual, mental, emotional and physical ailments that could have been avoided by you. Spiritually you will never come to the truth about anything, and we all know that only the truth can set you free from the things that bind up your mind and tie down your life. Your life will be inundated with a bunch of lies which will have you walking around as if in maze. Every turn you take will come to a dead end, and you won't be able to find your way out. Mentally, your mind will be fragmented and split because you won't have enough information to take you to the next mental level designed to give you the stability you'll need in order to handle the duties and responsibilities that come with that level in life. Emotionally, you will be so bogged down with feelings like depression, anxiety and fear that you'll never be in a place to make good sound decisions for you or your family--or anyone else for that matter. All of us have had that supervisor who wasn't mature enough to handle his position so he/she took his/her frustrations out on us. (If you didn't notice, he/she was the one no one liked because he/she was always frustrated, grumpy, grouchy, in a bad mood, or always lying about what really happened on the job. He/she was always the one trying to get you to do the impossible just to make himself look good in front of his boss. You know, the one who got promoted off everyone else's work!). Finally, all of the above will take a physical toll on you. For some, the toll manifests itself in health problems: migraines, headaches, IBS and other gastrointestinal problems, anorexia, bulimia, high blood pressure, arthritis, heart disease, diabetes, etc. (Please don't kid yourself into believing that none of these are ever stress related because they all are. Your stress effects the way you eat, the amount of exercise you take in, the amount of sleep you get, how you sleep--your overall balance of life.) For others, the results of stress can have a direct effect on the role genetics will play in your life. Inherited or genetic medical conditions that we may have been able to bypass may find and latch onto those of us who now have a place for it to land. And then there are those of us who are the first generation of whatever the "dis-ease" or generational curse is. So let go of whatever pollutes your "ease". If not, "dis"-ease will become a platform for some opportunistic diseases!
So what kinds of issues have been handed down to us? Let's look at some generational stuff. The one that comes up that has been passed down through the generations that I'd like to put a stop to if I could would be the age old blonde hair/blue eyes, light skin/long hair nonsense. When are we going to get to a place where we can love ourselves and our babies in spite of how we/they look? This is my beef, because as a counselor, it's one that almost always came up. There was a time when you had to have features that were lighter to show that you were born of "good stock". The belief was that "the lighter, the better". It was believed that "dark" meant bad or evil. But do you realize how long ago that was? Do you realize why that was necessary? Let me tell you why. Because that was a time when wisdom didn't go beyond the surface. It was scarce, so you held on to whatever made sense to you, and what made sense to you was whatever was told to you by the person/people you believed in. The people who were trusted to have the wisdom didn't know any better than what had been told to them! Blonde hair/blue eyes meant you were naturally better in a group of people who were considered better than all others. They didn't understand that what was on the inside of you mattered more. That was also before the women's rights movement. You had to have blonde hair/blue eyes so that the gentlemen callers would choose you for a wife. Back then, you needed a husband to provide for you or to even be taken seriously. Ladies, we can hold our own now. We don't need to be chosen. As a matter of fact, you can do a little choosing yourself now! On the other side of this darkness (no pun intended), light skin/long hair meant you had genes from the elite group; you weren't all black, which meant you weren't all bad. In those times, being black meant you were no good; slave material (hence the term "darkies"). Because of that, there were divisions in the quality of the slaves. Light skin/long hair meant you worked in the house, not the field. If you were a field nig, you were at the bottom of the barrel. If you worked in the house, it was because it was believed you were better than the others. NO, black folk. What that meant was that the master, or maybe an overseer, was raping or having sex with your momma or your grandmomma, and she got pregnant! White people, that means that your momma or your grandmomma knew what her husband was doing, and she had to believe whatever excuse he gave her to justify it! He lied to her to convince her that what he was doing was in her best interest. Sex was a dirty act not designed for pretty women. That's why he did it with the slave woman instead of her, and she had to believe that. She also had to feel prettier than others like her because she, like all other white women, she was pushed into the background simply because she wasn't a man! People, these are old, antiquated coping mechanisms that gave people something to hold onto in a time of spiritual, mental, emotional and physical degradation! Newsflash: we don't live in those times anymore! You can let them go now. We no longer need those bigoted ways of being accepted or feeling good about ourselves. Does this mean that you are less than because you're blond haired/blue eyes or light skinned with long hair? No, it just means you're not better than. Times have changed. Beauty is in a box now. If you want to be blonde, you can be. It's in a box. If you want blue or even green eyes, you can have them now. They come in a box, too. And the bull about being better if yours is natural, well, you can believe that lie if you want to. No one really cares these days. There are too many other things going on.
What myth would you strike down if you could? What curse are you carrying on from the generation before you? What about you do you believe makes better than or less than others? If you have to be better than, it's really because you don't feel you're good enough without the lie you're holding onto. Those of us who are good enough don't compare ourselves to other people. We stay in our own lanes and do what we were put here to do. If you're comparing yourself to or competing with others, you're not doing YOU. You're trying to do them. You're obsessed with a curse that either you started or has been passed down to you. How do you undo this curse? Find what it is that you truly like about yourself that is founded in truth, not someone else's lie. What are you good at? What is your gift? Focus on your gift; not your self. You will find that your gift will make you a better you.
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