"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If you take the time to prevent every ounce of unnecessary negativity that attempts to enter into your mind, your life won't have to endure the pounding necessary to cure the disease it leaves behind."
Okay, I'm going to blog, but first I have to rant. I'm so tired of cowards using the internet to shield them as they throw fiery darts at innocent people who just want to make an honest living. I just read an "I Hate Tyler Perry" message board. I couldn't help but laugh--first at the fact that it exists, and secondly at the fact that people actually post on it. There was one person whose signature read, "Mad Black Film Student". This person wrote that he/she didn't see any "potential" for Tyler Perry. Really? What cave has this person been living in for the past decade or so? Well, guess what, "Mad Black", it's not surprising that you're a hater, I mean, that you hate Mr. Perry. Could it be because he's what you fear most? If you're a struggling film student, and I'm sure you are cuz we don't know your real name, why would you love him? His success is your worst nightmare! And let me guess. You're probably male, too, huh? You're justified in being scared, but do you really hate the man as much as you say you do? What has he done to you? I don't think Mr. Perry intended to hurt anyone when he realized the dream on the inside of him. All of the folks who criticize him are dealing with some inner struggles that are a lot deeper than most would think. Ask yourself, Mad Black, why you really hate Tyler so much. Sorry, but I have to laugh at you and all the other haters like you. Remember, people who matter don't judge, and those who judge don't matter. Mad Black, you don't matter to Tyler Perry! So stop judging him! Learn to live and let live, and stop taking Mr. Perry's success so personally. Really, when he put down on paper what was on the inside of him, he wasn't trying to hurt your chances of succeeding in the business you'd like to break into. I know film is a difficult industry but have you stopped to consider how difficult it was for him, too? Show a little compassion. When he took the risk that all of us in this industry must take, it wasn't personal against YOU. He was poor and struggling just like you are, so stop taking stabs at him (and yes, I know you're struggling. If you were succeeding, you'd be excited for him). I'm sure if you knew him, even you'd find that he's really a nice, harmless guy with no evil intentions. You named yourself appropriately, but I think you're "madder" than you think. Perhaps you should seek professional help for your madness!
So, to the blog. Why are people so incredibly mean? Have you noticed that folks are getting meaner and meaner as time progresses? Maybe they're not really mean, just mad, and getting madder. There's a difference. When you're mean, it's because there is something on the inside of you that keeps you from finding happiness. When you're mad, the meanness has driven you crazy and you're angry at the world about it. In other words, what started as a mere emotional disturbance in your life has now become a glitch in your personality. What things are you angry about? How long have you been angry about these things? Have they driven you mad? When you don't care anymore and you find yourself just hating everybody for everything, you're mad, whether you want to believe it or not. As I worked with people in the counseling setting, my success rate came from me being able to take clients back to the origins of their anger/pain/fear. Underneath all grouchiness/bitterness is anger and hurt. If you are angry/hurt, take care of your situation before you become grouchy or bitter, because once it gets that deep, you'll need professional help in dealing with it. You have to deal with it so that it won't take over your mind and control you. Hurt unattended will grow bigger and bigger and be buried deeper and deeper inside you. Before you know it, it becomes pervasive. Once pervasive and unattended to, it will become the core of your existence, or---the spirit within you. It will color everything you think, see, feel, do, and it will be so infused with your personality that you won't even notice that it's still there. In your mind, you will feel that you're over whatever hurt you. Well, if you didn't get it taken care of, you're not over it. Hurt doesn't just go away; it has to be cleaned out of you. If you don't take the time to clean it out, other things in life will just pile on top of it. For people who don't trust, the origin of this is hurt. Maybe someone hurt your dad/mom and he/she taught you not to trust as a result of his/her unresolved pain. But if your dad/mom had taken the necessary steps to heal his/her pain, you would have been raised in a way more healthy for an innocent child. The pain may go back as far as your grandmother/father or great grands. Regardless, if the pain is not taken care of, it will grow--even through the generations. We won't even talk about what you'll end up doing to your children.
Fear works in the same way. People who are afraid teach others to be afraid. Whatever they fear is very real to them and in their efforts to keep you safe, they will teach you to fear---or to hate. Think about something you hate. Let's say spiders. Do you really HATE spiders, or do you really just fear being bitten or crawled on? Do you hate a whole race of people or is it that you fear injustice/harm on their part? Do you hate your job or do you just feel insignificant or in a dead end space? "Mad Black" do you really hate Tyler Perry or do you fear never achieving the kind of success he has in the industry you're trying to break into? Is it that Mr. Perry has raised the bar so high that you feel you won't be able to reach or surpass it?
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If there is something going on in your life that's causing you to hurt, be angry or fear, take necessary steps to clear it out of your mental space. The first step is to talk to someone you trust about it. If you can't talk, write it in a journal and place it where no one will ever find it. Better yet, write a letter to the one offending you, telling him/her everything you want them to know, then tear it up and throw it away (unless you want to give it to them). This may seem as if it will have no effect but trust me, it will. It will prevent the emotion from becoming embedded inside your personality and ultimately taking over. (We all know someone who used to be kind and is now bitter or hateful.) Take the time to prevent this from happening to you. You'll appreciate it because it's a lot harder to cure than it is to prevent.
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