V.I.T.M.F.E.E.

"Don't expect others to give to you what you don't feel worthy of."


Okay.  So I am admittedly a victim of modern technology; I am technologically sheltered.  In other words, if I can't get it online, it will never be mine!  That's real.  I am so spoiled by the opportunity to shop, travel, dine in, register, etc., with my fingers that I don't know what I'd do if my hands were to ever be cut off.  I don't know what I'd miss more, my fingers or the ease of life sans crowds, traffic, rude people, this generation's young adults (which is a cross between rude, ignorant, and no home training), long lines, sales associates or other staff that don't know any more about the product or service than I do, employees who don't speak enough English to understand what I'm asking for or with an accent too heavy for me to understand what they're saying, or my personal favorite...the employees who are certain in their own minds that I could never afford their store's product--as if they could!  Usually, with few exceptions, if you work for the store, and you're prejudging others, it's because you can't afford the product--Mommy and Daddy's money doesn't count.  If your parents are buying it for you, they can afford it; not you!  But that's neither here nor there...

This works for me, but I have a lifestyle that supports that.  I may sound somewhat prudish, but really, I'm just old and impatient at times.  If you drew something racist, bigoted, or anything remotely close to that from the things I mentioned in the first paragraph, it just sucks to be you because it would mean that you're not open enough to hear what those of us who just want to be honest have to say.  By now, if you've been keeping up with the blogs, you know that I'm not striving for perfection or political correctness; I'm just honest.

I am honestly appreciative of technology because I can be myself without my life being interfered with.  I like being the V.I.T.M.F.E.E.: Very-Important-To-Myself-Forgetting(unless you want to use a much stronger "f" word)-Everybody-Else type of person, and I can be that online!  I can give myself what I'm worthy of, without being interrupted by the ill thoughts and treatment of other people who don't feel the same way about themselves.  Let's face it: all of us truly desire to be treated with some level of respect, and we deserve that--some more than others.  When we're respected, our days seem to be more pleasant and we are more productive as individuals.  In a right society, if we love ourselves, we could be as respectful as we are respected, and vice versa.  But, unfortunately, we don't live in a right society, and it's not getting any "righter"!  Our society is so rude and heartless now that it's almost impossible to stay in your lane and enjoy life out in public.  Most people feel they have a right to get in your space.  Not only that, they invite you into their space and have the nerve to become angry when you refuse to make them important.  As much as I love kids, for example, I don't like it when someone else thinks that I should find their child, and everything he/she does, adorable enough for me to take time away from what I'm doing to let the child know it.  If I don't take the time to applaud the child's beauty--which is truly in the eye of the beholder--I'm rude and obnoxious to the parent.  Well, what if I don't think the child is cute?  Do you want me to let him/her know that, too?  What if I don't care about your child's cute?  What if I'm in the middle of a crisis and completely missed the cuteness of your child?  If I do think the child is cute, shouldn't it be my decision whether to tell you that or not?  Don't I have a right to stay focused on what I'm doing even in the presence of your child's cutesy-pootsy self?  I say build your child's vanity on your own time!! LOL

Anyway, to avoid confrontations of that nature or others like it, I enjoy the peace and solitude of my own space.  I only share space when I have to!  If I'm at home, I can be as important as I want to be, right?  In the confines of my own space, I don't have to be concerned about what anyone else thinks.  In my own place, I can talk about what I need to talk about without societal interruptions because I can handle my business without inadvertently stepping on anyone else's toes.  Best of all, in my own space...

...I can love myself enough to not demand it from you.  I can be my own cheerleader at home, then go out in public and allow you to be you--without expecting you to place me above you in order to spare my feelings.  I can compliment myself and not be angry at you for not noticing my new shoes, or my new watch, or any other new stuff I have.  I can take the time to assess my situation without worrying about what you're going to say about what I'm wearing or how I smell.  I can apply as little or as much make-up as I want without needing you to validate or invalidate me.

I can give me what I deserve without bothering you.  I can be confident in who I am, what I'm wearing, how I'm feeling, what I want to do, etc., without having to be concerned about any approval/disapproval, compliments/criticism, encouragement/put downs, cheers/jeers, insults or pleasantries from the world around me.  And so can YOU!  But if you're one who cannot love yourself, you will naturally interfere with others loving themselves.  If you can't love yourself, you won't be able to allow others to love themselves without feeling as if they've infringed on your right to be down and out. (How many times have you witnessed a friend or acquaintance look at a happy person and say, "Nobody is that happy.")  If I can love myself, you will not be able to sit still as I refrain from complaining about the things in my life that I don't like, nor will you be able to listen as I try to share my joy with others.  My confidence begins with me understanding and dealing with the truth about me.  The more I deal with me, the less you have to hear about it!  My self-esteem starts with how I feel about myself, so please...allow me the courtesy of loving myself enough to allow you to love you.  In return, I am going to need you to take the time to do what needs to be done for you, so that you won't have a problem with me loving me (or you, either, for that matter).  In the end, we can love ourselves enough to not have to resort to modern technology in order to get done the things that normally cause people to have to interact, because healthy, pleasant interactions with others allow us to live life to the fullest.   Be important to and respect yourself so others can do the same without having to put you on ignore with a  "forget" about you attitude in order to enjoy themselves.  Really and truly, being forgotten about does reduce the quality of your life.