Making Good Memories

"A picture is only worth a thousand words; a good memory can be told and retold for an entire lifetime."


Recently, I talked to someone who was down and out due to the loss of all of the pictures of her children in a move across country.  That stimulated my thinking...

...how many of us rely on pictures to remind us of the past?  Please don't say that the purpose of the pictures is to remind us, because all of you know that most folks pose pictures vs. taking candid shots.  I hate posed pictures at times because it feels like someone is lying to me!  I don't know; maybe that's just me.  I prefer candid shots that tell the story of what was happening in that particular moment.  But that is what a memory is to me.  Sometimes you can't capture it with a camera because the excitement or the magnitude of the moment isn't tangible.  I prefer to tell the story myself, if I can, because telling the story can bring the moment back to life in a way that even those who weren't there can share it.  But that can only be done if you burn the image into your mind with the desire to remember it.  What do you desire to remember?  Don't get me wrong. I have tons of pictures of my family, but I choose not to show them to everybody.  They are only seen by a few, but I will tell stories about the events where they were taken over and over, and it's fun each time (the key to the fun is in telling people who want to hear it, though!).

The decision to withhold the pictures began for me as a need for privacy, but developed into a practice that has proven beneficial to my family and friends.  I cringe when I'm with people I didn't grow up with and someone I know from back in the day breaks out a picture of me wearing a fashion that was popular thirty or forty years before!  That's not a cute thing to do.  I've never seen the humor in that, and quite frankly think it's rather cruel.  Think of people who have had to have corrective/cosmetic surgery, those who have lost or gained a significant amount of weight, or even others like me who lost their childhood ugly and aren't looking to find it----ever again!  I don't really understand why people think I'm looking for it.  I'm not.  I had a hard enough time with it when I knew where it was!  It wasn't easy having it, and for some reason, people find it enjoyable to locate it to show your family and friends how you used to look!  Come on, folks, show some compassion.  You never know; you might even be frightening my children into not giving me grandchildren!  That's not fair!  It's like you're showing them a latent gene that skipped a generation.  I would imagine that it's almost as bad as being "outed" in some cases.  If you're one who does that, please stop!  I don't look like I did forty years ago, and I'd like my family to remember me just the way I am--today, thank you!  You can tell all the stories you want, but do you really have to show pictures?

Seriously, a memory can be told and retold for an entire lifetime--if the memory truly exists.  What memories do you have to tell?  If you're one of those people who "smiles for the camera" but frowns immediately after the flash, maybe it's time you participate in something that makes you smile even when there are no cameras around.  Stop doing what you're supposed to do, according to the law of society when your mom/dad was a child, and free yourself up to do the things you'd truly like to do and tell someone about. Do something you've been wanting to do for a very long time, but never did.  Have something exciting to tell your grands and great grands when they are old enough to handle it.  Remember to keep it all healthy.  Don't do anything stupid.  Telling and retelling good lifetime memories from a prison cell doesn't count!