"Everyday is a holiday."
Make today YOUR holiday. What are you celebrating? In times like these, far too many people feel they have nothing to celebrate, or be happy about. Make YOUR holiday. Celebrate what you want to celebrate--even if no one celebrates with you. Today, YOU are the life of the party. I'm one of those sickeningly happy people because I CHOOSE to be happy. I had a supervisor once who looked at me one day, then laughed and said, "You know what I like about you? You never have a bad day. You're the kind of person who could party with the trash if you had to!" I laughed and said, "Okay?" I didn't quite understand that one, but I never forgot it. You see, he saw that in me before I did. I thought I was more down and out than others but, as I found out later, that was only because I really didn't know what was going on in the lives of those around me. Most people make their situations worse in their heads than they really are and, unless you are psychotically narcissistic, you do, too! Why do we do that? Simply because when one thing goes bad for us, we never take the time to see anything good about our lives. Instead, we pull up all of the other negative! Okay, the rent is due, and your loan didn't come through, but your children are healthy and they love you. One of the worse thoughts in a situation like that, which most people are guilty of, is as follows: Well, my rent is due, and I can't pay it, but at least I'm not like So-and-So. You know she got her car repossessed last week. (Then it always goes on...) Did you know that she used up all of her money gambling at the casino last week? Uh-huh. I saw her with blah-blah-blah-blah-blah...
Although many use that device to measure how far they are from the bottom, it only makes YOUR situation worse. When you do that, you're calling in future anxiety because on that day when you realize that you, too, are struggling to make your car payment, your mind will automatically pull you back to your own words--how badly you talk about other folks when they are down--and think others are going to do the same to you. Truth is, most will, because those who you use as an audience when you talk badly about others are going to remember what you said when they see you down and out. So...
...stop calling that negative reinforcement into your life and learn to celebrate yourself (and others) when stuff happens to you or to anyone else. Shit happens to us all; life happens only when you draw the positive from it.
So am I saying that you should be happy in all situations? Absolutely not! What I'm saying is that in all situations, you can find something positive to think about if you choose to. It may not even make you happy, but it will help to keep you from spiraling downward. Yea, yeah, I know. When you're going through bad times, sometimes you want to be sad, angry, frustrated, etc. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the readers who want a way out of the everyday rig-a-ma-ro of negative thinking. Truly, it's a choice. I know. I've been through homelessness (fourteen months in a shelter with two young children) in a state where I knew no one and no thing. This was after living large in a nice home, driving a BMW, working two braggable careers at one time, having a couple of advanced degrees, blah-blah-blah. And in case no one has ever told you, homelessness without all of that would have been a lot easier. You certainly can't miss what you've never had. At thirty-eight years old, I had someone from the shelter call me on the job I found (making $6 an hour after having been promised a nice salary) with the good news that I could stay out until 10:00 p.m. that night to celebrate my birthday! Can you imagine how that made me feel? Yes, 10:00 because my curfew was 7:00 p.m., and I had to fight to get it that late! The funny thing about my homelessness was that it wasn't the other residents that gave me the problems. It was the staff who felt like I should have presented myself as beneath them!! After all, they weren't homeless; I was. They didn't like the way I "walked with my head up", and I didn't like that they expected me to walk with it down! They even accused me of gang banging on the unit! (I guess only OG gets to walk around like somebody when living in a shelter!!) To go from having jobs where, because of my position, I was instantly respected as I walked through the door, to having people who didn't even have the credentials to qualify as aides on my other jobs telling me when to go to bed and when to get up was not easy.
Was I all smiles and giggles and finding a happy place during that period of time? Hey-yell to the nawl. I'd be lying and the truth would not be in me if I said I was. However, I can say that I wasn't always down, either. I had to make the best of it. That in itself posed difficulty for me as well. You see, when your situation is bad, negative people will use that to elevate themselves from the low man's position. They need you to be down, dragging, crying, depressed because it makes them feel better about themselves. At least they are not you, they think to themselves. You are their "So-and-so" in this situation. But if you don't give them their self proclaimed right to step on you, it forces them have a look at their situation, not yours, and for them, that's like taking candy from a baby.
So am I suggesting that you make other people feel badly by smiling when you're in a tough spot? No. I'm actually suggesting that you stay in your lane and keep your head up. Why? Because everyday brings on a cause for celebration, and you can find it if you just look for it. The positive is always harder to spot if your head is always down or if you're always hiding. Again, shit happens to all of us--everyday, but it's still YOUR holiday if you choose to live that way.
God put a man in my life who means more to me than most. Everyday he deals with the struggles of ALS (formerly known as Lou Gherig's Disease). "Everyday is a holiday" is not an original quote from me. I got it from him. He was saying that even before the disease took his ability to speak. Now, he spells it: E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y I-S A H-O-L-I-D-A-Y. And he means that.
So what are you celebrating today? I'm celebrating the fact that, even though I'm currently living in a place I'd really rather not have to live in, I was able to run my errands this morning without being in traffic. I'm celebrating that when I went to gas up the car this morning, I didn't have to wait in line or fight with a complete stranger over who got to the pump first.
Because "Everyday is a holiday" for me, I now own my own business and NOBODY tells me when to get up or when to go to bed, and I know it's because I chose to live through my rough times; not die in them. "Everyday is a holiday"; just call me Santa Claus cuz in my life, everyday is Christmas! Be your own boss today. Declare yourself a holiday and enjoy YOUR day!
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