Hark, Who Goes There?

"When you love yourself, you won't let others mistreat you."


A biblical principle that all people who still believe in good try to live by is "love thy neighbor."  I wonder how I'd like being YOUR neighbor.  The scripture actually says, "love thy neighbor as thyself." Most people who try to live by this principle haven't quite gotten the "as thyself" concept down yet.  If you treat me better than you treat yourself, something is amiss.  If you treat me better than you treat yourself, consciously or subconsciously, you'll feel I owe it to you to return your favors.  That doesn't sound problematic in itself, but here's where that breaks down.  Loving thy neighbor is a pay it forward kind of thing; you do good deeds and good will come back to you.  That way, good surrounds everyone.  Setting up neighborly debt, however, takes on a more selfish turn, and that's how things get ugly.  Things get really bad when a neighbor feels he's done something good for someone and doesn't get a mutual return on his investment.  That's when the whole neighborhood becomes overrun by the Hatfields and the McCoys.  No one has any peace in that situation.  You all know how that goes: one neighbor feels slighted then finds another neighbor who will take his side.  The gossip starts and then the feuding begins.  Then it becomes a problem for the entire neighborhood (which can be your family or the workplace, too), even if you don't take a side, because everybody has to hear about it--whether they want to or not!

Back to the point.  The extent to which you love yourself will determine whether or not your deeds are truly good.  The true definition of evil is selfishness.  Selfish gestures are designed to satisfy only your flesh (turn s-e-l-f backwards and add an h), so if you give something to someone, with the idea that you're now in their good graces and they should consider you, it wasn't about them; it was about you.  That's the created debt I was talking about.  If I'm your neighbor, and you give me something, expecting something in return, you've created a debt for me that I may not be able to repay.  When God designed the principle of loving thy neighbor, that's not what He had in mind.  This is the way it works in the Kingdom of God:  One morning, you see me walking, and offer me a ride.  I accept, and you end up taking me to the grocery store.  I buy food and, on the way back, I begin to tell you about this wonderful meal I'm going to cook.  In the back of your mind, you're entitled to a portion of that meal because you took me to the store.  The least I could do is offer you some, right?  It never occurs to you that God led me to prepare a meal for some people who would otherwise have nothing else to eat.  He promised those people He'd take care of them and they believed Him.  Meanwhile, in my daily prayers, I'm asking that He use me to help others in need.   One day as I'm praying, He answers and says, "Prepare a feast, for I am going to send someone your way to eat tonight."  Then I say, "But God, I don't have enough food in the house to prepare a feast by tonight, nor do I have a way to get to the grocery store and back right now."  Then He says, "Trust Me.  Leave your house right now and walk."  Then I ask, "All the way to the grocery store?  Even if I do that, I won't be able to carry all of the food I'll need for the meal home by myself."  And He says, "Trust Me."  So I do it.  That's when I see you.  I'm grateful for the ride, but my mind is blown by what's happening spiritually.

Later that afternoon, while you're disgruntled because I didn't offer you a plate,  my child brings home a friend who missed the bus and lived too far from the school to walk home.  After okaying it with her mom, who was working a long shift and worried that she didn't have time to cook for her family,  nor the money this month to make the groceries she needed, the child stays and plays at my home.  When the mom finally arrived to pick up her child, God speaks to me and says, "Offer her the food."  So I asked her, "Would you like to stay for dinner?"  She she smiles and says, "Oh, gee thanks, but I've got to get home to my other four children and prepare dinner for them."  Then at God's urging, I say, "Oh, no worries.  How about I put some food in some containers for you.  You can take it home to your family.  I can see that you've had a long, hard day at work and you're probably tired.  Fixing dinner is probably the last thing you feel like doing right now, and I have more than enough."  "Oh, no.  You don't have to do that," she says humbly.  "Please," I say.  "I insist."

While you were thinking about what I owed you, I was following my heart.  I can tell you that the last thing I'd be thinking about during that whole ordeal is what I owe you.  My mind would be preoccupied with what I was being led to do.  I would be overwhelmed at the idea that God would use me, first of all.  Secondly, I'd be delighted to come through for a family in need, and finally, I'd be amazed at how God provided the needs of this child, her mother and the rest of her family.  It would show me how God works and how faithful He is to keep His promises.  It would show me that I, too, would be able to trust Him in my time of need!  Sound selfish on my part?  Not exactly, because that would be the testimony of God's faithfulness that I'd, no doubt, tell someone else about!  Contrary to popular belief, you can't witness what you've never seen.  God's decision to show me His faithfulness would not be just for me; it would be for other's who He'd know would listen to my testimony. (They overcame by the blood of the Lamb and the words of their testimony.  Revelation 12:11)

Back to you.  Right about now, you'd be spitting in the wind about how rude I was, and vowing to never to do anything for me again because of my selfishness.  You'd may be even plotting revenge.  But in reality, I wouldn't let you hurt me.  I'd pick up on your nasty attitude and ask myself, "what the heck is wrong with her?"  I'd stay away from you because I love myself too much to allow you to be nasty to me.  That's contrary to the reaction of someone who doesn't love him/herself.  That person would do whatever it took to get back in your good graces because, selfishly, he's thinking he may need your services again in the future.  He might need you for something else.  Therefore, he'll allow you to control or manipulate his actions while he's controlling and manipulating you.  But you deserve each other!  I, on the other hand, love myself enough to leave you alone, and to leave my heart open to God so that I can be used by Him to help another neighbor who is really in need.  Sorry, unlike you, I'm not thinking about you.  God's harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few.  I'd rather labor for God than for you.

You see, when your heart is full of love, your intentions are never selfish, but that love has to start with you loving yourself.  In the above scenario, if I didn't love myself, I'd be caught up in one or two different situations.  I'd be so concerned about returning your favor to keep you from being angry or thinking ugly thoughts about me that I wouldn't be able to hear God speaking to my heart.  Or I'd be preoccupied with what the person coming to my house would think about me.  So instead of going to the grocery store to buy food for them, I'd be making sure my house and my appearance were acceptable to the person coming.  I'd make my situation absolutely gossip proof; I'd leave them with nothing bad to say about me when they left.  Know this: when you're selfish, it's all about how you look to other people. When you love yourself, you're not concerned about any of that.  When you love yourself, the negativity of others doesn't even get picked up on your radar.  That's why selfish people feel you think you're better than they are, and for the selfish ones, it's how the people you want to return your favors seem so selfish to you.  It's also how you can miss out on all of the real goodness sent your way.  If you're busy trying to collect debts from those who you feel owe you, you're missing out on the goodness that God is sending through those who have the resources to supply what you really need.

So, if I were your neighbor, would life for me be filled with positivity coming from your direction, or would I have to answer to your selfish demands?  Are you allowing others to mistreat you by paying debts you really don't owe?  Should anyone want to be your neighbor?  Check your good deeds.  They may be more evil than you could ever imagine.  Get yourself out of the cycle of evil: cancel the debts others owe you by learning to love yourself enough to let go of what you feel you're entitled to.  Forgive the debt and let God forgive you.  Use that energy to learn to love yourself so you can truly love God and others.  Then you will understand the concept of neighborly, and enjoy it.

P.S. If you don't believe God speaks, shut down your selfish thoughts and feel your heart.  You'll be surprised at what actually goes on there.