Heart Smarts

"Negative emotions are what block spiritual arteries and cause cardiac arrest."


I like this quote!  This is a good one, but you really have to take the time to understand what it means.  First, let's look at what "cardiac arrest" is.  Cardiac arrest is what happens when the hearts electrical system malfunctions, causing the heart to stop.  That is different from heart attack, which is death of heart muscle tissue caused by loss of blood flow to the heart.  Heart attack doesn't necessarily mean death; cardiac arrest does.

Now, let's look at what the spirit has to do with the heart.  Although we say "heart" when we talk about emotional matters, the heart is actually a muscle and is not the center of emotion; the spirit is.  "This warms my heart" or "my heart is broken" are really ways of saying, "my spirit is affected by what just happened to me."  If someone dies of a broken heart, it's because something caused them to lose positive spiritual energy; something caused him/her to not want to live on.

So why use the two in the same quote if they are not the same thing? For reference and clarification.  Though not the same, they are very close.  Defunct emotions can cause electrical malfunction in the heart because of the electrical, or chemical, connection between the two.  To keep this from becoming a full fledged physiology lesson, let's just understand that emotions are responses to chemicals firing off in the brain which can also cause physical responses in the body.  Chemicals like dopamine, epinephrine, norepinephrine,  and serotonin are major players in this equation.  When something happens to you, your mind reacts, and a physical reaction follows.  For example, anyone out there ever experience sudden fright and then feel the need to run to the bathroom?  How about sleep after depression?  The heart beating faster than normal when you're surprised?  It's all electrical, which brings us back to our topic for the day.  Alongside the physical responses are spiritual ones that are all electrical because spirit is energy; you can't touch it.  When the energy is negative, it causes a heaviness on your spirit that, if not properly treated, will result in spiritual heart attacks.  Simply stated, it causes part of your spirit to die.  Too many heart attacks will cause full cardiac arrest.  Simply stated, it will cause death of your spirit, more commonly known as heartlessness.

In times such as these we live in, far too many of us, after having been hurt so much, feel that if we shut down our hearts, we can't be hurt any more.  Well, hurting people hurt other people, so if you've shut down your heart, you're doing to others what you're trying to keep them from doing to you!  Is that really a solid way of dealing with your pain?  To inflict it on someone else?  Instead of being hurt, you become a monster or a machine?  Here's a solution: How about you deal with YOUR pain and remove yourself from the situation that's causing it instead of taking others down with you?  Two questions arise out of that solution:  How do I deal with my pain and what if I can't remove myself from the situation?

Dealing with your pain requires facing it, knowing and understanding the truth about it, and making the decision to eventually release yourself from it.  Don't lie to yourself about the source, the cause or the reality of the pain;  that just makes it worse.  If the source of the pain is someone you love, look at the character of that person, not his/her role in your life.  If your mate is an alcoholic who always insults and puts you down, look at the fact that that behavior is typical of an alcoholic--especially a chronic one.  Don't excuse the behavior because it's your mate and you don't want to lose your relationship; that's the perfect augur for codependency and a definite path of self destruction.  In this situation, facing the truth about it will allow you to see clearly.  You will be able to understand why he/she does what he/she does and release yourself from being responsible for his/her actions. You will also be able to s ee that he/she drinks or acts out because of his/her own pain, not because of you, and that hurting people hurt other people.

If you've lost a loved one to death, how do you deal with that pain?  Accept loss as a part of life.  None of us want to lose those we love, especially if they are a backbone for us, but we don't decide who goes when.  If it was time for that person to go, let them go.  If you feel that they were gone too soon, know and accept that there is no such thing.  Everyone, including you, has an appointed time of death.  If you weren't ready for that person to go, start your healing by understanding that his/her death wasn't about you.  Memorialize the person by remembering what you loved about him.  Get past the actual death so that you can remember the person.  For example, if you continue to focus on the death, you won't have the energy to remember or celebrate his life (that's why memorials are better than funerals).  If his life was hard or unfair in your eyes, remember what made him so wonderful to you.  Maybe those were his best moments.  Would you want your loved ones remembering what was bad for you or the good about you?  Death is never an easy one, but it doesn't have to be as hard as some people make it.  It is a natural part of life and you MUST go on.  If not, the depression in your spirit will cause your brain to fire off neurotransmitters that will cause your body functions to depress or slow way down.  This causes you to drag and before you know it, you will not be able to muster up any positive energy at all.  You will essentially die with your loved one.  Before long, others around you will get tired of dragging with you or always having to tiptoe around your depression and eventually stop coming around.  That's the brokenness of spirit that results in cardiac arrest.  Grieve as you need to, but don't kill your spirit or the spirits of those around you because you refuse to let life have its cycle.

If it's the loss of a job, a house or a break-up, give yourself time to grieve, but also permission to eventually move on.  Don't wallow in the loss; rev up for the new journey.  Talk about it, surround yourself with people who have the energy to keep life flowing and MOVE ON.  No one wants to hear those words when they are down, but I can tell you from a lot of personal experience that you have to give yourself permission to live,and go forward in spite of what has happened.  Sometimes you'll need more than permission; it will have to be an order.  Order yourself to live on after a healthy (not hefty) amount of grief.

What if you can't move on?  Some of what grieves me has become a part of my daily life, but instead of thinking about how bad it is, I have learned to accept it for what it is and that I can't change it.  I've also had to see that, in spite of how much I'd like things to be different, these stressors in my life are also strengtheners.  In order to deal with what I deal with daily, I have to be strong.  I have found that I really like strength because it helps me in other areas of my life!  I know that what I deal with everyday would cause others to jump from bridges or buildings but, instead of planning my jump, I now thank God for the strength He gave me.  I realize now that it's useful in making executive decisions in my family, my marriage, and my business.  I use my experiences to write the things that have been so useful and helpful to others, and as wisdom for my family members.  I don't use my energy to feel sorry for myself as I used to.  I did that for years and boy did that get old!  I got tired of feeling sorry for myself because there was so much more to me than death, mental illness, physical/terminal illness, divorce, marital problems, single motherhood, homelessness, unfairness of work, loss of work, family problems, depression, etc.  I've dealt with it all!  I eventually poured all my energy into self discovery.  Who am I?  What do I like to do? I now know that I have a knack for the metaphysical and foreign language.  Yea, when I get bored, I go beyond the natural and/or I learn another language.  Right now, I'm studying Russian.  Anyway...

Instead of allowing my spirit to die, I found ways to cultivate it and grow.  I didn't get lost in my losses, I grew from them.  At times when I thought I couldn't GO ON, I ordered myself to MOVE ON from that place.  A healthy heart/spirit requires positive energy and you can't get that from wallowing in sorrow.  If you want to live, LIVE.  If you want to die, well, that's your choice, but don't expect others to die with you.  Negative energy is like crack; it kills.